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babel fish

The Babel fish is small yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the unconscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish. Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly disappears in a puff of logic. "Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is whte and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that did not stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best selling book 'Well That About Wraps It Up For God'. Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

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Printed on-demand just for you
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Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.

Andstubbedmytoe D.Nov 12

This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.

Zachary L.Nov 10
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My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.

Jorge A.Nov 10
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Review by Gabe L.

Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!

Gabe L.Nov 8
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The T-shirt was a birthday gift for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it.

Bobby L.Nov 7
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Review by Am R.

Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.

Am R.Nov 5
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My wife absolutely loves her new T-shirt.

Bobby L.Oct 30
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This looks like a weird design but it looks cool

AidenOct 30

This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.

Peter P.Oct 26

Absolutely wonderful product! I bought this shirt for my son and he gagged with joy! Mariah Careystmas everyone!

Joan D.Oct 25

I love it I bought me and my family some

Kirk J.Oct 20

Glad I had utmost FREEDOM OF SPEECH to express in articulate detail what evv it is the fk i was on a rant about that day. I haven't even received my shirt. I just a few moments ago placed the order. That is how pleased 😄 I am. Fk yeah fk yeah. Very empowering experience. My thoughts turned into type, that made some shi# happen. Having freedom of expression was most definitely...one fk ton of fun. A fk ton can be quantified as exuberance an joy beyond expectation. Fk yeah fk yeah. Awesome>>>

Jamie M.Oct 16

Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...

cynthiaOct 13

Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.

DeeOct 13

Another hit!

John E.Sep 25
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Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻

Beren S.Sep 24
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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S.Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E.Sep 5
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Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J.Sep 2
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FUCK you urban dictionary.

Nah N.Aug 21
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SizeLengthWidth
XS27"16½"
S28"18"
M29"20"
L30"22"
XL31"24"
2XL32"26"
3XL33"28"
SizeLengthWidth
XS69 cm42 cm
S71 cm46 cm
M74 cm51 cm
L76 cm56 cm
XL79 cm61 cm
2XL81 cm66 cm
3XL84 cm71 cm

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