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American Pounding Tee

A.K.A. Patriot Act 1. A sex act between a man and a woman, which consists in hanging the woman to the ceiling using leather straps for the legs, engaging in rough coitus, beating the woman's rear end blue, letting go off the straps and finishing on her buttocks. Her strap marks represent the stripes, the buttocks the square and the splooge the stars of the flag of the land of freedom, hence the very appropriate name. Note: The most ideal way to do it is to use exactly thirteen straps, commit the act against the partner's will and/or knowledge, and do it publicly, to brashly deny it afterwards. The woman, or passive partner, also has to be as light-skinned as possible. At least four variations of this popular sex technique also exist: The Liberal: Giving the passive role to a man, the penetrative role to a woman, or both. Bonus points if it's also interracial. The Conservative: Shooting down the passive partner and burying the evidence. Bonus points if everything takes place in the cheapest Roadside Motel avaliable and no condoms are used. Raising the Flag: Just as the act is finished, stick a pole no less long than a broomstick on the passive partner's mouth. Actually raising the flagpole high above and saluting a possibly inexistant crowd is optional. Overdoing it may however turn the whole thing into a conservative, so be careful. The Veteran's Day Homage: Giving your girlfriend/wife to a real veteran for the purpose of this act.

Mug Hoodie

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

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Review by No M.

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.

No M. Jun 15

This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
✓ Verified Purchase

Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase

good very good worth money!

me May 9

5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious

Ayoush smith May 7

10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again

Some dude May 1

Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.

Vince B. Apr 28
✓ Verified Purchase

gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made

the gooderesting Apr 26

Got it for a friend! He loved it

Roger M. Apr 20
✓ Verified Purchase

Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.

Phoenix S. Apr 18
✓ Verified Purchase

mine says "ass" on it lol

me Apr 13

Good Decent, comfortable by all means

Juliana Apr 6

My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day

Vern B. Apr 1
✓ Verified Purchase

shirt made me cum

helga s. Mar 31

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

Gayagay Mar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W. Mar 26
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