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American Empire Tee

A fragment from a future encyclopedia article …The American Empire appeared to be the sole major power on earth between 1990 and 2000, after the disintegration of the Soviet Empire in 1990. However by that time, the Empire had been in decline for some time – Imperial power probably peaked during the brief reign of Emperor Kennedy the Young in 1961-63. Thereafter, the power of the Empire was sapped by a ruinous proxy war against the Soviets in Vietnam which led to extensive dissent within America over the morality and purpose of the war. The symbolic power of the Empire peaked in 1969 when American astronauts successfully traveled to the Moon, landed, and returned safely. Five more visits to the moon were made, but the expeditions to the Moon and plans for even bolder exploration of the Solar System were ultimately abandoned because of the cost of the war in Vietnam. Within one generation, the accomplishments of the Moon landings seemed so incredible that an increasing number of Americans refused to believe that they had ever happened. The most serious decline of the American empire began when George W. Bush was appointed Emperor Bush II under suspicious circumstances in 2001, after a contentious succession from Emperor Clinton I. Subsequently, the American Empire was assaulted by eastern barbarians. Ironically, the eastern barbarians gained some of their power and stature from support they had obtained from the American Empire in another proxy war against the Soviet Empire in Afghanistan twenty years before. The barbarian’s assault was a great shock to the Empire’s citizens, and the Empire reacted by getting into wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. These wars sapped the empires strength without seriously affecting the barbarians. Another effect of these wars was to drive up the cost of petroleum, which meant an end to the cheap fuel which had allowed imperial citizens to drive massive vehicles called SUVs without worrying about the consequences. Also, these wars increased international uncertainty, driving up the cost of the raw materials that the Empire needed to survive. To pay for the ongoing wars, the Empire was forced to borrow enormous amounts of money, with much of the debt being held by the resurgent Chinese and Indian Empires. The American Empire also inadvertently weakened itself by ceasing to manufacture most items, preferring to contract out this work to China. This tended to destroy the prosperity of many American citizens (except for a few rich oligarchs called CEOs) even as it strengthened the empire’s rivals. The accounts of the Empire’s collapse are fragmentary. It is known that an evil cult known as Wal-Mart…

Mug Hoodie

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

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This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
✓ Verified Purchase

Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase

good very good worth money!

me May 9

5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious

Ayoush smith May 7

10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again

Some dude May 1

Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.

Vince B. Apr 28
✓ Verified Purchase

gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made

the gooderesting Apr 26

Got it for a friend! He loved it

Roger M. Apr 20
✓ Verified Purchase

Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.

Phoenix S. Apr 18
✓ Verified Purchase

mine says "ass" on it lol

me Apr 13

Good Decent, comfortable by all means

Juliana Apr 6

My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day

Vern B. Apr 1
✓ Verified Purchase

shirt made me cum

helga s. Mar 31

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

Gayagay Mar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W. Mar 26

Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!

William Mar 19
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