Air Force

The United States Air Force is the second least martial of all the military services next to the United States Coast Guard. Their role of maintaining air dominance over combat zones is made all the more easy due to our enemy's complete lack of aircraft. Most airmen will tell you that they are the smartest of all the uniformed service members. Do not be fooled by their ruse, as this statement is merely an attempt to distract you from their crippling shame at having chosen such a cowardly way to serve their country. The Air Force refers to their indoctrination training as B.M.T. or Basic Military Training. This six week process takes place at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas. During the course of their six week training Airmen spend exactly one week taking part in activities that could be classified as military. Known as Warrior Week, Airmen take part in a 2-3 day field exercise where they sleep 8 hours a night inside of air conditioned tents, carry blue rubber dummy rifles, and spend exactly one single day shooting with live rounds. Whereas the Army and the Marine Corps require their recruits to hit targets up to 500 meters away in order to graduate from Basic Training, the Air Force standard is met when a recruit merely fires a rifle once. Air Force deployments rarely last more than 120 days. Most Air Force personnel spend their deployments inside the F.O.B. or Forward Operating Base, and as such have acquired the nickname "Fobbit". Although on extremely rare occasions Airmen are put into harm's way, the overwhelming majority of them deploy to places like Qatar where they can bask in the sun, go off base to the local shopping mall, and relax in a swimming pool before retiring for the evening.