Pre-Emptive Deep-Sea Diving
Pre-Emptive Deep-Sea Diving is when, after taking an enormous shit, you pre-emptively stick your hand down in the toilet water and break up the gigantic turd BEFORE you flush, therefore avoiding an embarrasing overflow situation. Suffice to say, some prepartion is necessary. (If the situation around Uranus requires you to wipe immediately, just "stage" the used toilet paper (TP) on the edge of the bowl and flush them AFTER the crisis has resolved itself. Otherwise, wipe later. 1) Wad up a bunch of TP ahead of time, to be used to clean off your shit-stained finger tips after you've done the deed. 2) Pull your pants half-way up, just in case there is a flood. 3) DIVE!, DIVE!, DIVE! Stick that hand right down in there and start breaking that turd up. Don't be afraid to overdo it. 4) DON'T WIPE YOUR FINGERS OFF YET! Use your clean hand to flush, then quickly cross your fingers for good luck. 5) If all goes well, you've successfully dropped the Cosby Kids off at the pool. Congratulations! If it didn't work, skip Step 6 and proceed immediately to Step 7. 6) Use your pre-saved wad of TP to clean your fingers off, then drop the used TP in the bowl. Proceed to wipe your butt (or if you've pre-wiped, tap in the used TP) and drop the TP in the (now) nearly empty bowl. Whew! 7) If the poop break up did not work (or you were too pussy to do it!), quickly hobble out of the stall to the next stall and finish your paperwork there. Act innocent.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Quick shipping and awesome hysterical product!
I fucked with it for months before i finally ate it.
Great mug! Got a homo mug for a friend's birthday and he adored it. :)
love it
THINGS ARE GETTING A LITTLE WILD AT CAILLOU'S HOUSE!
The thing is amazing. Also everything on the back is true!
Professor - I am loving this ....not all professors are blasted toward intellectualism. I believe smart comes in all different sizes, color, beauty, and personality. I will use this coffee cup proudly. Loving it in Denver. Jax
It was great! Very hard to break and easy to hold! Also very cute
I sent my friend the Wordle URL for her to enjoy. She did her first Wordle and got so excited, she sent me a text including the answer she got. This showed at the top of my screen and I read it - there was no way to un-read it so I was ... wordlefucked for the day!
Solid mug. Funny design. Fair price
My dad hits me with his mug. It's very very durable
I got the Capybara one made by FAUBCOK and it was so good quality!
i loved the mug, gave it to my grandmother on her birthday
The mug is great! I bought it as a gag gift for a friend, and I didn't really think it was going to be a good mug, but when I got it I was super surprised! It is really high quality feeling ceramic and the print is very clear and good looking. It was also packaged really well, and the shipping process was nice too! It did take longer than I thought to get here, but it's understandable as I did order it custom. In all it is an amazing mug and I think I'm gonna have to buy one for myself.
This mug is great! It comes in perfect condition and I love that you can change the definitions! I put my name and then I put the definition as ‘the best person’. Made my day every time I picked it up.
My name is Asher, I looked my name up a few days ago and we all had a good laugh. Now, this mug is my go to morning mug for drinking my herbal tea and plotting to take over the realms.
I just love it. Just like I ordered!
Exactly as promised.
To beginulate, the muglification of the vessel is both pleasing to the eye as well as the hand. Secondly, the option of choosing one's own colors adds to the lessening if the so called " buyer's remorse" which so often accompanies modern "on line" purchases.
My husband absolutely loves this! This was a difficult product to find but it turned out perfectly! He was cracking up. Definitely worth the buy.
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