The Odyssey
At the Cyclopes’ forum, Odysseus and twelve of his men stumble onto Polyphemus’s blog, and attempt to post on his recent entries. Polyphemus logs on, and finds them trolling. Enraged, he traces their IP addresses and forces them to stay on the site, and then steals six of their internet connections to use for downloading pr0n. Desperate, Odysseus launches a DDoS attack against Polyphemus, and manages to escape with his men as attachments to the Cyclops’s emails. While web-surfing away, Odysseus taunts Polyphemus, causing Polyphemus to beg webmaster Poseidon to avenge him. Odysseus then meets up with Aeolus, and asks for a Paypal donation in order to help him pay for an upgrade from dial-up internet to Verizon FiOS so that he can find his way back to Ithaca.net faster. Aeolus donates, but Odysseus’s men, thinking that the transaction contained keygens for Starcraft, hack into the transaction. Paypal, sensing a security breach, shuts down its services for the next forty-eight hours, preventing Odysseus from claiming his money, and therefore, his high-speed fiber-optics internet. The clan then journeys onward to the private site of the Laestrygonians. The Laestrygonians, being the code monkeys that they are, are excited at the arrival of Odysseus and his men. They launch experimental cyber-attacks at the party, and only Odysseus’s squad manages to escape. 1500 character count is still silly.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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