Gnat Mug
AKA Friut Fly AKA Nature's Asshole At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap. First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at. Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat. Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place. Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help
The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
This mug made me horny.
looks perfect!!! we loved it
I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen
I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better
it's the best mug of the world !!!!!
wow! this mug is so thoughtful to giving to my wife!
The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant
Your description is right on, except in 1989 I named my daughter Kallen Mikel (www.kallenmikel.com/original-art). I thought I made up the name, but apparently, it originated as a boy's name in Greek and Hebrew. I first found this out in 2001 when I was traveling to Finland. In the 'tube food' section in a big Finnish supermarket there it was, a royal blue tube of salmon paste with a blonde-haired boy named Kallen! So now I have discovered that there are many Kallen's of both sexes. I want to buy her a cup, but it has 'him' on it. Is there any way you can make that a unisex description for both sexes? Just askin'. Being a Barbara (Barbs) myself ... a 'cake eater' from Edina, MN I had to ask ... haha ;-)
Thank you for the mug. It arrived fast and exceeded my expectations.
I loved my mug and it came in a timely fashion.
Gave i as a gift to my teacher she loved it
Sent this to a friend who may have originated the term, now part of slang lexicon. He was very pleased. The color is also perfect. Well done!
this mug summs up my entire life
BEST THING EVER I GOT THIS FOR MMY SON AND HE LOVED IT HE SAID THAT THE FINSTTERD GUY IS WHO HE LOVES AND IM FINE WITH THAT I HOPE HE GOT THE GIRL SOMETHING FOR VALENTINES DAY
Shipped very fast and very carefully! Perfect inside joke gift for a friend. ^_^
IT WAS AMAZING!!! BEST MUG EVERRRRR ITS A MUST BUYYYY!!! 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑
very good for lean 😾😾💪