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M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&M's, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I make them have M&M duels. Taking two candies between my forefinger and thumb, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner get to go to the next round. I have found that, in general, brown and red M&Ms are tougher, while the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense ring of competition and cracks under the pressure of being in the modern candy and snack food world. Occasionally I will come across a mutation, a candy that is mishapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this seems to be a weakness but on very rare occassions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the candy continues to adapt in it's enviroment. When I finish the package, I am left with one M&M. The strongest of the herd. Since it wouldn't make any sense to eat this one as well, I package it up with a letter that says "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes" and send it back to M&M Mars, A division of Mars INC in Hackettstown, NJ They wrote back this week thanking me and gve me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of M&MS. This weekend there will be a tournament of epic protortions. There can only be one champion.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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15

Gave it to my uncle and he rewarded me with a wet kiss. Best gift ever!

Micheal A.Nov 22

mug gud, got it for my gf but mug just made her pregananant. Help pliz mug says its going after my thicc mum next. pliz send help

Hero N.Nov 22

I love the personalized mug I got from you! I never thought there were mugs available like the one I got and it's going to make the BEST holiday gift! Thank-you!!

Linda Z.Nov 22
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My friend and I added a word ! Gotta get merch of it now. Thanks for the coffee mug!

Christopher M.Nov 22
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Easy to order quality mug.

Scott B.Nov 21
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It’s cute and wasn’t broken when it shipped. Just smaller than expected

Kara L.Nov 21
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I got it in the mail. then The next day it was sleeping with My non Existant Gf

John C.Nov 20

I thought this mug was a bear.

MeNov 20

it is pretty good but not all of it describes me god bless all Nevaeh's

NevaehNov 20

i love it i love this mug my boyfriend got this for me as a gift i love it very much i highly recommend this for you or a loved one it is very good i am planning to get my mans one on his birthday i hope he will love it thanks guys for listening

gay elNov 20

EEEEEEEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :))))))))

Anderson C.Nov 19
Review by Mary P.

This was a phrase my husband and I made up even we first started dating. We laughed so hard while submitting it. The mug is perfect!

Mary P.Nov 19
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Urban Dictionary. Mixes truth with lies. Keeps a record. Thanks for the truthful parts, bro. 🙏💪✝️

Jesus C.Nov 18

I wish I had this mug I SOOOO wish I had this mug! I never find anything that has my name on it unless I have it custom made. I'm actually quite surprised that 'Lani' is on the Urban Dictionary... And the definition is pretty accurate ;)

Lani ConradNov 17

really awesome mug I gave this mug as a secret Santa gift and and my cousin still uses it to this day. It is truly a awesome mug and it deserves 5 stars.

dominiqueNov 17

i shit in it

mommy m.Nov 16

I cumed in my pants when it arrived in the mail. no more porn, just mug

taylor c.Nov 16

i love it. my friend loved it. yay. now i'm happy and not depressed anymore.

skibidi f.Nov 16

You can't get a mug from any other dictionary site

Suchart S.Nov 15

Was quality and delivered quick our friend loved it!

Stanley F.Nov 15
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