Poop Tacos

The poop taco is a reapropriation of the long finger, the most recognized and reviled gesture in contemporary human history. It reconstitutes the anger and frustration inherent in the common exhibition of the middle finger and repurposes a classic obscene gesticulation into a shared celebration of our community's ability to turn lemons into lemonade. A less cliched explanation: the poop taco transforms the SHIT that we ALL endure in our daily routines into the transcendent display of a shared, yet esoteric signal, to each other and to the world at large, that while we are ALL given shit, some of US have chosen to make POOP TACOs! Just as diamonds are pressed from coal, we strive to form a common bond, a fraternity, perhaps, even a nation-state whose only shared tenet is the poop taco. Quite simply, one's initiation into the order is as simple as forming a V with with the index and middle fingers. This is a classic gesture, used by hippies to express their fleeting interest in peace. Similarly, hooligans in the United Kingdom use a variation to express extreme disdain toward one another. Earlier in that island's history, they used a similar gesture to express a common goal for Victory over the invading Nazis. We have chosen to appropriate the International Sign Language gesture, used to indicate the numeral 2 (a base euphemism for "taking a dump" i.e. "I took a number two"). To the V gesture, which is an international signifier for the taco, or," the people's food," we have added the most human of all digits, the thumb. The addition of the thumb is an obvious, and admittedly vulgar representation of POOP, in the digital taco. Inverted, the symbol resembles human legs with an obvious defecation protruding from the nether regions. This gesture supplants the vulgar expression of the middle finger favored by cretins and delinquents worldwide. While the aforementioned gesture is offensive to nearly all, the vast majority of persons fortunate enough to behold a poop taco, will be wholly ignorant of its effect. There are; however, those among us who view it a harbinger of the great cultural revolutions that WE, as a group, are fomenting. It is our duty as Poop Taco pioneers to take this unique and shared symbol to new heights, new depths, new fields of expression. The ebullience one feels when exhibiting a well thrown poop taco in the presence of an appreciative audience is overwhelming. Even more so, the demonstration of a poop taco to an audience ignorant of it's iconographic strength supersedes my limited aptitude to describe the sensation of joy, of satisfaction, of victory. Perhaps there is one among us who has mastered the descriptive power of the written word to express the emotion of love felt for one's own mother. Should such a poet exist among us, I hope he or she will attempt to form the words necessary to convey the deep personal and cultural significance of the poop taco. Just as there is no manner in which to express the visceral nature of the skydiving experience, words lack the immediacy of the poop taco experience. As such, it is incumbent on each of us to demonstrate the gesture in new and outstanding ways. This is why WE ARE UNITED! This is HOW we are united! Some of us have chosen unusual destinations. It has been suggested that the rooftop of the late Charleston Heston would be an appropriate stage from which to display a poop taco. Others among us have exhibited a poop taco in extreme Northern and Southern latitudes. Some have exhibited the gesture from the highest attainable mountain tops. There are those among us who wish to throw a poop taco at the Grammys, a poop taco at the bottom of the sea, a hogtied poop taco thrown from a paddy wagon after a week's rioting, a satellite distributed poop taco, a viral poop taco. The fastest and/or bloodiest poop taco . . . . As is always the case, imagination is our only limitation. Regardless of the environment, the creativity inherent in each of us will serve as a beacon, guiding us to our own "personal best" in service of the dissemination of the great Poop Taco ideology. Each of us can picture a world where Barack Hussein Obama, at his historic inauguration, proudly threw stereo PTs to an adoring nation. Imagine a dozen dwarfs proudly throwing defiant PTs in the face of the norms. Is it absurd to expect the oppressed people of Chiapas to assume the Poop Taco as their official gesture? Or, rather than throwing perfectly good shoes at our previous, disgraced President, Iraqi journalists would instead throw an enraged Poop Taco. Already, if you look closely one MIGHT witness Venezuela's Hugo Chavez flashing a poop taco as he ridicules "the donkey," George W. Bush: Can you imagine a world where history has been rewritten and photoshopped to show Richard Nixon throwing poop tacos from behind the Presidential Seal of United States? And what reason is there to doubt that one of us will some day greet the ambassadors of far-off planets with a deeply respectful and ingratiating poop taco? Each of us can envision our sons and daughters, dressed in graduation regalia, triumphantly throwing poop tacos for all to see. With these great victories in mind, each of us must proceed down his own course. Just as the poop taco recognizes no boundaries, neither do those who reverentially hold one in each hand. We report all this with great angst, and yet, even greater hope. The hope that Poop Tacos will someday make mincemeat out of the old guard of social standards and measurements. The hope that PTs will one day dice and shred and possibly deep fry conventional wisdom on what is right and what is not quite so right, but just might be right if enough alcohol is consumed. The hope, my comrades, that Poop Tacos will serve as a future beacon of hope in a beaconless world full of hope. Stay strong, my friends. Keep your eyes peeled. Keep your cool and always spread the word of the PT. And to those who oppose us, we remind them that they can have our poop tacos, only when they pry them from our cold, dead hands.