Michigan

This is the home to a diverse group of people, although I will admit that the majority of them are farmers or work in auto factories. There is nothing wrong with our pronunciation, and we are not all hicks. A hick is somebody who chews all day on his porch wearing a wifebeater, and sometimes shooting at people who walk by. A redneck is somebody who has gotten a sunburn from working outside all of the time. There is nothing shameful about that. Our universities are some of the absolute best. The rest of you can suck it, honestly. You might think that you're smart, especially you Californians, but you're not. Our lakes are not for surfing. They are for swimming and fishing. We hunt more than just rabbits and 'coons'. We go for bucks and bears. We are not pansies. The city 'folk' are much different than us country 'bumpkins'. They might live in Michigan, but they are still considered outsiders. They are not easily effected by such factors as our crazy ass weather and our shitty governor. Flint is one of the most dangerous cities in the world, Grand Rapids is crowded, and Detroit is full of drug users. If you choose to visit this wonderful state, I suggest you go to a place such as Cadillac, Holland, or Elsie. Soda is not something you drink, it is something you cook with. Pop, on the other hand, is a lovely carbonated substane that I suggest you try sometime. Pepsi is my favorite, but whatever floats your boat. Say what you want, but we are all better drivers than you. That's right, you barefooted Californians. Ride your little fucking trolley. The most important thing to remember is that Michigan might be flawed, but it is not a bad state. I have lived here my entire life, I know what I'm talking about. Stop ripping on it when you haven't even been here for more than two seconds, just passing through to lame ass Canada.