Emo

-Emos reach the peak of their agony, the resulting tears throw the world into flooding for 40 days and 40 nights. Iron Age: -Roman businessmen went bankrupt when people preferred seeing emos beat up rather than watching gladiatorial fights. Middle Ages: -The Mongols flipped out and started killin everybody because their tribute of concubines from china turned out to be a bunch of emos (guys and girls, the senders couldnt tell the difference) who broke every time a mongol tried to hump one. -buddhists went celebate after deciding that relationships with emos were too much of a pain in the ass since they kept whining about how they "wont call the next day", how they didnt say "i will love you forever" back and how the buddhists didnt show much interest when they tried to make them read the dark poetry the emos "poured out my emotions for you" into. -Aztecs decide to use emos exclusively for their sacrifices since they were more fun to watch, the gods, also enjoying the spectacle, reward their subjects with unparalleled riches. Renaissance: -Emos illigitimately infiltrated the samurai bloodline, and thus spread the habits of not being able to fight for shit, being afraid of christians, and killing themselves when the going gets tough, they popularize the term "harakiri" for the aformentioned activity coz it sounds more poetic than "seppuku". the resulting pussiness renders the country so weak it is conquered by foreigners and decimates the samurai bloodline (the contrary could be the reason for ninja superiority and kick-ass ways of life...lesson: never mix with emos, its true they're easy but come on...is it really worth it). -Spanish conquistadors render native americans helpless by showing them emos, emos are just too fucking sorry a sight... Imperial Age: -The Marquis de Sade discovers the full use of the emo. Modern Age: -The united states embarks on the largest and most brutal cleansing operation in history, they launch a massive campaign on europe and japan, especially the latter, in the hope that they will kill all existing emos, the campaign is covered up and an excuse of their actions is sold as "World War II", the campaign failed miserably as americans had not realised that the largest emo concentration lied in their own lands. 21st century: -With accusations that emos could be close species to humans, emo hunting goes down and they begin to thrive. Future speculation: -Due to increasing emo populations, and increase in being annoying fucks, people grow more impatient to their existance (except emo sympathizers, pussies who claim that emos are blessed with being in touch with the emotions of the universe, a.k.a. my ass) people speculate that a new world order will rise to rid humanity from their revolting existance...and all their pussy bullshit.