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Runner Guidelines

1. It is important to load up on carbohydrates 2-4 hours before a big run. Try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana (good cramp-crusher), oatmeal, strawberries, and/or some orange juice. But from now on, eat all of your breakfast runner-style. Liquids are digested faster. So slop it in a blender, and smoothiefy it. That way, no energy is wasted, and it's all about the run. 2. Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement. Say to yourself things like: This is gonna be your best run yet. You're going to accomplish all of your goals. You are a robot sent from the future to win the marathon. It's go time. This will be the performance of a lifetime. It is on, till the break of dawn! You are a live wire, a spark plug, a dynamo. You are unstoppable, unbeatable, untouchable. You are a relentless driving force. You are a timeless powerhouse. You will complete this run, come home, get in your big underpants, and take a nap. Facial feedback and self-spoken support are key factors in fueling those tanks and charging up those batteries. 3. Chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas, including the feet, armpits, and especially the nipple region. Use petroleum jelly on the affected areas. This will relieve any irritated skin. 4. Remember the "Rest Day". Keep it holy. 5. Nose running like a waterfall or a faucet? A real gusher? Move others away from the spray zone, and snotrocket. Total jetstream. Just open the floodgates. Aim steadily, and fire.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
636
62
10
1
15

War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.

ha h.Apr 28

Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.

Michael T.Apr 28

I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother

Deni B.Apr 27

Super Funny Mug 😂

Emmanuel D.Apr 27

best mug ever spittin nothin but fax

Thomas J.Apr 27

i fucking hate your mugs and shirts

annetteApr 26
Review by joe M.

awesome product!

joe M.Apr 25

This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help

Quantavious B.Apr 24

The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.

normal g.Apr 24

It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy

Evan G.Apr 23

This mug made me horny.

Quandale D.Apr 23

looks perfect!!! we loved it

Thalia A.Apr 22
✓ Verified Purchase

I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen

Mark M.Apr 22
✓ Verified Purchase

I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better

Quandale D.Apr 21

it's the best mug of the world !!!!!

michel j.Apr 21

wow! this mug is so thoughtful to giving to my wife!

deez n.Apr 20

The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant

Mark O.Apr 20

Your description is right on, except in 1989 I named my daughter Kallen Mikel (www.kallenmikel.com/original-art). I thought I made up the name, but apparently, it originated as a boy's name in Greek and Hebrew. I first found this out in 2001 when I was traveling to Finland. In the 'tube food' section in a big Finnish supermarket there it was, a royal blue tube of salmon paste with a blonde-haired boy named Kallen! So now I have discovered that there are many Kallen's of both sexes. I want to buy her a cup, but it has 'him' on it. Is there any way you can make that a unisex description for both sexes? Just askin'. Being a Barbara (Barbs) myself ... a 'cake eater' from Edina, MN I had to ask ... haha ;-)

Barbara H.Apr 20

Thank you for the mug. It arrived fast and exceeded my expectations.

Joanna W.Apr 19
✓ Verified Purchase

I loved my mug and it came in a timely fashion.

CustomerApr 19
✓ Verified Purchase

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