Runner Guidelines
1. It is important to load up on carbohydrates 2-4 hours before a big run. Try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana (good cramp-crusher), oatmeal, strawberries, and/or some orange juice. But from now on, eat all of your breakfast runner-style. Liquids are digested faster. So slop it in a blender, and smoothiefy it. That way, no energy is wasted, and it's all about the run. 2. Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement. Say to yourself things like: This is gonna be your best run yet. You're going to accomplish all of your goals. You are a robot sent from the future to win the marathon. It's go time. This will be the performance of a lifetime. It is on, till the break of dawn! You are a live wire, a spark plug, a dynamo. You are unstoppable, unbeatable, untouchable. You are a relentless driving force. You are a timeless powerhouse. You will complete this run, come home, get in your big underpants, and take a nap. Facial feedback and self-spoken support are key factors in fueling those tanks and charging up those batteries. 3. Chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas, including the feet, armpits, and especially the nipple region. Use petroleum jelly on the affected areas. This will relieve any irritated skin. 4. Remember the "Rest Day". Keep it holy. 5. Nose running like a waterfall or a faucet? A real gusher? Move others away from the spray zone, and snotrocket. Total jetstream. Just open the floodgates. Aim steadily, and fire.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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