Urban Dictionary Hoodies

JTM: JTM is short, text-messaging speak for: je t'aime ("I love you" in French). This is popular in texting culture in French speaking countries.

or naw: a slang phrase usually said after asking a question.

braux pas: The rare awkward moment between two male acquaintances or friends when the parting gesture (handshake, fist bump, or bro hug) gets fumbled. This occurs most often either when one goes in for a bro hug and the other wants to shake hands, or when one goes for the traditional handshake and the other goes for some version of the urban handshake. The awkwardness usually lingers until your next parting, at which time you both slightly overcompensate for the previous confusion by first, deciding what form your parting will take, and second, executing it with decidedly more gusto than usual.

Screaming Jesus On A Ferris Wheel: Phrase used to xpress extreme suprise and shock. Can be used to get attention and/or a cheap laugh

God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers: expression indicating extreme anger and/or pain. see motherfucker

unrequieted love: when one person is in love with another and knows they don't love them back but just can't shut the f*ck up about it.

umop apisdn: It's upside down, upside down.

tip of my thumb: Just about to hit send on a text message when you think better of it and stop

Underwater Jacking: To jack off under water in the tub where no one in the house can hear it. Plus it feels really good

wealthy selfie: a self-posted image to social media that features a flashy display of large quantities of money

Transfer Season: The time period in which to escape the friend zone (transfer out). The deadline is normally within one month after meeting someone. Transfer season reoccurs after every break up, when a new window of opportunity arises.

You're aces with me: It means the person thinks highly of you, you have their respect.

fauxgiene: Combination of "faux" and "hygiene" meaning when you half-heartedly wash your hands in a restroom. Your motivation is not actual hygiene but rather the social pressure to appear as if you actually do care.

big dataed: Being the target of big data. Doing a Google search for something and then being sent targeted ads for that thing for a month.

Fap Farmer: Equivalent to a jackoff or a wanker. Also a term for masturbating excessively.

feeling you: Crushing on one person.

dat ass doe: That ass though. A woman can be an idiot, or have an ugly face, but if she has a nice ass it makes you want to say "dat ass doe" The same is true of her legs, "Dem legs doe!" "Them legs though"

web shite: A site full of shit. Very British.

cheers big ears: An Australianism associated with drinking: When you're about to take a drink, you say "cheers big ears". There are two usual responses: "same goes big nose," or "up your nose with a rubber hose."

morning selfie: when someone posts a selfie to any social media in the morning, but puts on makeup and takes a shower before doing so. they then take the selfie and say whatever hipster crap they use. idiots actually believe that they just woke up so they fap to it.

alpha: The head animal in a pack, and by extension, an unofficial leader. Often used sarcastically of someone who wants to lead a group.

Masturwait: Fapping while you're watching porn but you're waiting because the video's buffering.

earlingus: A sexual act involving sticking one's tongue down someones ear. Like cunnilingus, but with an ear instead

drink things through: A time-honored tradition of thinking things through while drinking a beverage.

Man on the moon: A person who is not an outcast but different from everyone else. A unique person, different in a good way.

captain's call: A decision made unilaterally by a team leader without consulting colleagues, often a massive clusterfuck.

LLAP: Live Long And Prosper

hate watching: When the pleasure you get watching something on TV comes from your hatred of it.