Urban Dictionary Hoodies

Kidcessory: A child had by a celebrity just for the attention. Usually given a bizarre name, because who cares what the child has to go through growing up, they're just a kidcessory.

Ketchup drool: The thin nasty liquid that drips from the ketchup bottle before the thick sauce reaches the opening

datenapping: When you find yourself in a date with someone who bores you to the point that you find yourself asleep with your eyes open.

whoopsie wave: When you wave to someone you know and another person intercepts your wave mistakenly as if you are waving to them, e.g. caught in the crossfire of your wave.

dick date: When two guys hang out together in a non-romantic fashion over dinner or a show. Also referred to as a "man date".

crappy ending: The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.

Jackintosh: A computer used exclusively for porn.

chicken coop: The chicken coop is the house or apartment where you keep all the drugs. (Mainly kilos of cocaine aka "chickens") You never sleep at the chicken coop or do business there. Noone should know where your chicken coop is except for you. We call it a chicken coop because that's where you go to lay your chickens down to sleep at night.

DTLA: short for "Downtown LA" or "Downtown Los Angeles"

Down yonder: Distance between 50 & 100 yards.

get these hands: Ur about to get your ass beat

unring the bell: The unfortunate realization that any given time sensitive condition cannot be undone.

Emergency walk: When you are at the breaking point of pissing or shitting your pants. You can't run because that would shake it all out.

Mabstinent: Abstaining from masturbation.

Find your silence: A request that somebody be quiet, stop talking, etc.

verbal punches: To say things intended to hurt another.

PFM: Pure fucking magic.

Google University: A social media phenomenon where a commenter attempts to demonstrate knowledge obtained by searching on Google. This person has no legitimate degree from an accredited institution in said subject/topic, but will use unverified & inaccurate sources from websites searched on the search engine to prove their point on the topic being discussed.

Service the Account: A euphemism for masturbating, especially at work.

chipotle child: The massive shit taken after a meal at chipotle.

thug: As Tupac defined it, a thug is someone who is going through struggles, has gone through struggles, and continues to live day by day with nothing for them. That person is a thug. and the life they are living is the thug life. A thug is NOT a gangster. Look up gangster and gangsta. Not even CLOSE, my friend.

refaptory period: Combination of "fapping" and "refractory period." The refractory period is the recovery time during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have another orgasm. The refaptory period, therefore, is the recovery time during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have another orgasm by fapping.

bridesmaid wasted: The special kind of drunk you only get as a female member of a wedding party. The kind where you wake up the next day in a pretty dress, missing your shoes, smeared with someone else's lipstick and unable to remember how you made it home after a wedding or stagette.

you got to be fist fucking me: When someone does something really stupid.

Netflix Bipolar: When you can't choose what to watch on Netflix so you keep switching from thing to thing

one reply bitch: A one reply bitch is someone who replies with simple words like: "yeah, okay, cool, nice, alright, yep, whatever, nope," etc

lackoass: adj., A person who has a limited posterior. One who cannot fill out a pair of jeans.

post fartum depression: The sense of let down after your cat, dog, or spouse does not recognize your fart with as much enthusiasm as you were feeling it deserved.