Urban Dictionary Hoodies
Stay cozy while keeping it real
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friendly fade: A passive-aggressive method to 'break up' with a friend without being hurtful. Similar to ghosting, this method is NOT an abrupt process and can apply to just about anyone. Care should be taken when choosing this strategy: • Take longer and longer intervals to return phone calls, text messages, etc.. and avoid making commitments. For ex: take a week to return a voicemail or a few days for a text. As the weeks go by, the lag between all communications gradually increases. • Never answer the phone if you see that person's number on your caller ID. Wait at least a week to return the message (unless it's an emergency), preferably via text. • Avoid face-to-face meetings (like coffee or lunch) and make excuses to skip activities you both enjoyed previously (like going to the movies). The goal is to gently un-friend that person at a kind and gingerly pace. It can be a very effective method for those averse to conflict or part of tightly knit groups. Over time, your feelings may change, and you may want to rekindle the friendship. With this method, you haven't burned all your bridges.
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post porn depression: That moment after you finished watching some sick, fucked-up, porno and your just sitting there thinking "What the hell is wrong with me?" While you ponder life and shit.
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arm cardio: Masturbation
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opooportunity: When one who has to defecate has an opportunity to relieve themselves after waiting for a period of time.
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snakemeal: One extremely large meal consumed in a day as opposed to the standard three.
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swamp ass: Some one who does not wipe there ass or has not tooken a shower recently and stinks like shit
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Electric Hammer: When you touch someone or something with your erect penis and it releases static electricity.
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boytrapped: (adj.) Describes the sensation of realizing that there are too many boys around.
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five second rule of texting: The rule stating a DOUBLE TEXT is ok AS LONG AS the second text message is sent within 5 seconds of the first.
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On your knees: To get down on your knees and suck his cock! Or dick, penis, or whatever.
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asshole baby: When you become pregnant from having anal sex the baby is called an "asshole baby"
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email fluff: Stroking another one's ego to make yourself noticed by higher ranks in group email
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kicking dicks: Doing nothing. Not doing anything useful.
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bootygasm: a climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure and euphoria as a result of stimulation to the prostate.
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AM radio and chill: A primitive version of "Netflix and chill", which older generations did and what some hipsters still do.
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dbi: Don't Bang It Advising someone not to have sexual relations with a person or object
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procaffenating: (n.) The tendency not to start anything until you've had a cup of coffee.
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jeanjerking: The act of two individuals rubbing pelvic regions against each other in order to cause orgasm (implied while wearing denim trousers). Similar to dry-humping and "OTPHJ" (over-the-pants-hand-job).
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napahoe: A piece of ass asleep in your bed.
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stresshold: a stress threshold; the most stress that can be tolerated in a given situation
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Stop and go: When you're watching porn and you don't wanna climax just yet, so you stop for a moment, and go again. Often is repeated multiple times.
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snoozefeed: The act of browsing your newsfeed in lieu of getting out of bed
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Li-fi: When you see a free wi-fi connection, join the network but it makes you sign up to some bullshit or tries to charge you.
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eddiction: An addiction to electronic devices such as laptops, smartphones, and tablets. Eddiction is characterized by the constant need to check your smartphone for the latest Facebook posts, Twitter updates, news, etc. People with eddiction prefer spending time browsing the Internet over social interaction.
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she bad: A hoe that is good at what she does.
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staturbated: To become sexually aroused by one score in a video game/sport/etc.
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oreolization: The realization that oreos are still in your kitchen.
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Afterpoop: The smell that's left inside a bathroom after someone else has taken a poop. This is an unpleasant smell (unless you like other people's poop smells), and definitely not a smell you'd like to shower in.