The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn hoodie
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good. Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone. The dialogue that follows should go something like this. You: "Yeah. It's me." Girl: "Do I know you?" You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn." Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?" You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..." Girl: "Shelley." You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao." Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back... You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Girl: "Yes! Please." You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?" Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo." And it is on.
Checking out…
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The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn sweatshirt
Size M
The Urban Dictionary Hoodie
- Soft midweight fleece with a brushed interior
- Comfortable, classic unisex fit
- Double-lined drawstring hood
- Front pouch pocket
- Gildan Heavy Blend
- Returns & defect-free guarantee
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Customer Reviews
Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!
Navy Quality Goods I bought this shirt to wear whilst i sail the seven seas with my sea cadet friends, i really like the design because i can walk around and everyone knows im a wannabe pirate. I also like the colour choice, i am able to use it as my stealth suit whilst we do our practice drills with spray painted nerf guns :) would buy again!
Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!
Shit
i said shart and wore it to a party
wrote shart and wore it to a party
SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.
why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw
Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good
TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!
Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.
Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.
Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public
Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!
bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm
made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!
It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt
Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.
Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.
I kinda liked it.