The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good. Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone. The dialogue that follows should go something like this. You: "Yeah. It's me." Girl: "Do I know you?" You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn." Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?" You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..." Girl: "Shelley." You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao." Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back... You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Girl: "Yes! Please." You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?" Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo." And it is on.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Customer Reviews
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Very comfortable and love the tyoeface
FUCK you urban dictionary.
Wore it to school.
Love this shirt so much
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.
This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.
My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain
I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !
Feels great love the shitt
Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
mine says "ass" on it lol
shirt made me cum
people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart
The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |