The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good. Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone. The dialogue that follows should go something like this. You: "Yeah. It's me." Girl: "Do I know you?" You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn." Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?" You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..." Girl: "Shelley." You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao." Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back... You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Girl: "Yes! Please." You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?" Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo." And it is on.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
I love it
I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.
ThIs is perfect
Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.
This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.
My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.
Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!
The T-shirt was a birthday gift for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it.
Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.
My wife absolutely loves her new T-shirt.
This looks like a weird design but it looks cool
This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.
Absolutely wonderful product! I bought this shirt for my son and he gagged with joy! Mariah Careystmas everyone!
I love it I bought me and my family some
Glad I had utmost FREEDOM OF SPEECH to express in articulate detail what evv it is the fk i was on a rant about that day. I haven't even received my shirt. I just a few moments ago placed the order. That is how pleased 😄 I am. Fk yeah fk yeah. Very empowering experience. My thoughts turned into type, that made some shi# happen. Having freedom of expression was most definitely...one fk ton of fun. A fk ton can be quantified as exuberance an joy beyond expectation. Fk yeah fk yeah. Awesome>>>
Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...
Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |