The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn tee

To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good. Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone. The dialogue that follows should go something like this. You: "Yeah. It's me." Girl: "Do I know you?" You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn." Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?" You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..." Girl: "Shelley." You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao." Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back... You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Girl: "Yes! Please." You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?" Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo." And it is on.

Customize

The Urban Dictionary Tee

  • Soft, lightweight everyday tee
  • Comfortable unisex fit
  • Combed and ring-spun cotton blend
  • Pre-shrunk fabric with a tear-away label
  • Bella+Canvas 3001
  • Every order personally reviewed
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S. Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E. Sep 5
✓ Verified Purchase

Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J. Sep 2
✓ Verified Purchase

FUCK you urban dictionary.

Nah N. Aug 21
Review by Malachy G.

My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain

Malachy G. Aug 6
✓ Verified Purchase

The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.

Dian C. Aug 5
✓ Verified Purchase

AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!

scarlett Jul 31
Review by Kristen G.

I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !

Kristen G. Jul 22
✓ Verified Purchase

hehe mine said skibidi

alpha g. Jul 22
Review by Fred F.

Feels great love the shitt

Fred F. Jul 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.

Smitha M. Jul 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Wore it to school.

Monica L. Jun 28

Love this shirt so much

Joey L. Jun 16
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by No M.

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.

No M. Jun 15

This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
✓ Verified Purchase

Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase
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