Customize

Swiss Army Knife Hoodie

As long as you bring a Swiss Army Knife with you at all times, you'd need not fear of any man, creature, extra terrestrial being, or God himself. For as soon as you unsheathe your ultra-handy multi-tool, any stranger will instantly kneel down in respect for the man you are and beg you to spare them the shame of not owning such a holy grail of a tool. The men will deliberately force their penises to be as flaccid as humanly or inhumanly possible so your scrotum will be the largest in the next 10,000 miles, even if that means their genitalia must completely wipe itself from the nearest 80 universes. The women become so aroused they leave their significant others just to serve you and write shitty sexual Twilight Saga fanfiction using your name and image as a protagonist in hopes that you will open your eyes to them. But alas, you are so manly, so alpha, that even just the slight catch of your stare will put any unprepared woman into cardiac arrest. All the children in your field of view instantly walk away from their parents and force themselves as your child in hopes that they too will be able to be as righteous, masculine, intelligent, and awesome as you someday. The parents won't even bat an eye, because they know you will raise them to overcome this world of disappointing fast food and soy boys better than they could ever dream... You aren't a true alpha male until you get one of these bad boys.

Mug Tee
Size guide
2XL L M S XL

The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

Soft and cozy blend
Printed on-demand just for you
Drawstring hood
Front pouch pocket
Ribbed cuffs and waistband
Design on front, blank back
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

23
5
0
0
0

i said shart and wore it to a party

i dont e. Jul 4

wrote shart and wore it to a party

tyler j. Jul 4

SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.

Kai C. Jul 1

why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw

Why May 21

Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good

Gillian Apr 23

TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!

smiggen s. Mar 10

Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.

Harold Mar 5

Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.

Marcus D M. Mar 4
✓ Verified Purchase

Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public

Katrina S. Mar 3

Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!

Maddi M. Feb 27

bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm

Dogsta G. Feb 26

made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!

kai h. Feb 16

It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt

Craig C. Feb 11
✓ Verified Purchase

Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.

Art N. Feb 2
✓ Verified Purchase

Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.

Christen M. Jan 20
✓ Verified Purchase

I kinda liked it.

Lil M. Jan 3

Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.

Niwomugisha Chevonne Dec 16

Quality This is the highest quality product

Bundai Dec 4

Just amazing I started browsing on the urban dictionary for the best most exquisite word I could find. And lo and behold I found this! This word, or words fit so perfectly on the sweatshirt it to like it was made to be. The comfy and soft material truly hugs your body and makes you not want to get up Or do anything. 10/10

Owen Nov 30
Review by Ahmed E.

I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.

Ahmed E. Nov 16
✓ Verified Purchase
Page 1 of 2

Also available as