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Swiss Army Knife Tee

As long as you bring a Swiss Army Knife with you at all times, you'd need not fear of any man, creature, extra terrestrial being, or God himself. For as soon as you unsheathe your ultra-handy multi-tool, any stranger will instantly kneel down in respect for the man you are and beg you to spare them the shame of not owning such a holy grail of a tool. The men will deliberately force their penises to be as flaccid as humanly or inhumanly possible so your scrotum will be the largest in the next 10,000 miles, even if that means their genitalia must completely wipe itself from the nearest 80 universes. The women become so aroused they leave their significant others just to serve you and write shitty sexual Twilight Saga fanfiction using your name and image as a protagonist in hopes that you will open your eyes to them. But alas, you are so manly, so alpha, that even just the slight catch of your stare will put any unprepared woman into cardiac arrest. All the children in your field of view instantly walk away from their parents and force themselves as your child in hopes that they too will be able to be as righteous, masculine, intelligent, and awesome as you someday. The parents won't even bat an eye, because they know you will raise them to overcome this world of disappointing fast food and soy boys better than they could ever dream... You aren't a true alpha male until you get one of these bad boys.

Mug Hoodie

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

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Review by No M.

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.

No M. Jun 15

This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
✓ Verified Purchase

Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase

good very good worth money!

me May 9

5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious

Ayoush smith May 7

10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again

Some dude May 1

Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.

Vince B. Apr 28
✓ Verified Purchase

gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made

the gooderesting Apr 26

Got it for a friend! He loved it

Roger M. Apr 20
✓ Verified Purchase

Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.

Phoenix S. Apr 18
✓ Verified Purchase

mine says "ass" on it lol

me Apr 13

Good Decent, comfortable by all means

Juliana Apr 6

My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day

Vern B. Apr 1
✓ Verified Purchase

shirt made me cum

helga s. Mar 31

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

Gayagay Mar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W. Mar 26
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