Main Line Tee

The Main Line is a suburb of Philadelphia for rich, polo-shirt wearing Jewish democrats. You know you live on the Main Line if: *Your most commonly used phrase is "Daddy, can I borrow the jag?" *Your school offers a course on ordering coffee at Starbucks. *You know that Merion Country Club is the only appropriate place to play golf. *The biggest gossip at the public school is that two members of the graduating class aren't going to college...well, they technically are, but anything other than Ivy League doesn't count. *You just love Philly Cheesesteak...but of course yours is made with tofu and is carb and lactose free. *For vacation you either go to your house on the "shore" or Paris. *You give thousands of dollars to the Democratic party but really are a closet Republican. *You are constantly embarrassed of Narbeth (AKA the crotch of the Main Line). *When checking accounts dip below $20,000 you go into "Frugal" mode. *Frugal mode to you means buying one bracelet at Tiffany's instead of two. *You don't think Wawa sounds funny. *You are surprised that there aren't bus tours of the prep schools in Lower Merion. *Your favorite hobby is translating the words "Estate Tax" into Hebrew looking for evidence that they are the sign of the Antichrist. *Your favorite food is "churry wooder ice" but if anyone asks it's Potatoes Dauphinoise. *On your 16th birthday you graduated from doing all your shopping at Bala GC to the much more sophisticated Saks. *You own at least one of the boathouses on the row. *You get depressed because you can't afford a new car until your dividends come in...meaning people will see you drive that old 2003 Mercedes S Class Sedan around Radnor for another two months.