Jewocity Tee

Noun: (1) The level of Jewish appearance emanating from any being at any given time. Jewocity is measured using a simple scale of amounts, ranging from 0 to 9001, of the basic unit of Jewocity measurement, the Jew-le; 0 Jew-les containing the least amount of Jewish likeness, while 9001 containing the greatest amount of Jewish likeness. For example: Isaac's Jewocity level was that of over 9 kilo-jew-les. However, after having to cut his jew fro (see: dejewfrofy), his Jewocity level dropped to around 4.5 kilo-jew-les. On the other hand, Bob Smith's Jewocity level was of a solid 67 centi-jew-les for the majority of his life. However, after acquiring a yamaka and growing a pair of jew curls, his Jewocity level increased to an upwards of about Pi (π = 3.14159265...) Jew-les. Of course, determining someone's Jewocity is a long, drawn-out process requiring tedious calculations and precise measurements of factors of Jewocity. Such factors include: coarse hair texture, fashion preferences consisting of fuzzy sweater vests, and the willingness to dive into a pool of blood-crazed, madly-starved, flesh-eating piranhas infected with AIDS, Ebola, and the T-Virus from Resident Evil in order to retrieve a single penny. (See also, the Umbrella Corporation.) Though determining one's Jewocity requires careful consideration of the factors as well as precise calculations, there is one algebraic equation which helps gauge, with some degree of accuracy, the estimated range of possible levels of Jewocity. Let j represent the level of one's Jewocity. j ≥ n, where n is equal to the level of Jewocity of one's nose. This tell's us that any given person's Jewocity is equal to, if not greater than that of their nose. From this we can safely assume that even if Isaac also removed his yamaca and his jew curls, his Jewocity would never drop bellow 2.37 kilo-jew-les. Whereas, Bob's nose, having a Jewocity of 2 milli-jew-les, may not contribute much to his Jewocity, but doesn't impede him from increasing his Jewish appearance. That is to say that Bob COULD, in theory, reach a level of 9001 jew-les. This allows us to accurately estimate a person's Jewocity, without having to calculate it, on a day-to-day basis.