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Cortlandt Manor Tee

Cortlandt Manor is a realtor's fiction in Cortlandt, the furthest northwest township in Westchester County, NY. In it you will find quaint old farmhouses, cul-de-sacs dotted with grossly gargantuan McMansions, sad old-age homes, pathetic retirement villages, and white-trashed trailer parks. Economically both better and worse off than Croton-on-Hudson (home to the nouveaux riches families and NASCAR dads), it is adjacent to the urban embarrassment known as "Peekskill." The township was so humiliated by the presence of African-Americans in its community that it petitioned the USPS to create a separate Zip Code (10567) that distinguishes it from its darker sister (Peekskill: 10566). In the center of the town, the so-called Cortlandt Town Center, stands a United Artists Multiplex flanked by a hair-do establishment and pizza joint (with not-too-shabby pizza). To experience the full range of its denizens, go to the adjacent Walmart at said Center and count the number of teeth ( = n) that you find in the mouths of the shoppers ( = S) on any checkout line. You will find that at any given time nS < 32. The town has no focus, no personality short of calling itself "The Gateway to the Hudson," which basically means that it's a sewer pipe. It is a hell for those who can't drive and a vicious purgatory for those who do. It contains a farm where you can watch the decapitation of your Thanksgiving turkey or the slaughter of your Easter lamb, a place coincidentally close to Walter Penis High School, one of the two centers for higher education in the area (the other being Hen Hud, whatever that supposed to mean--probably a reference to chickens). All in all, living in Cortlandt Manor is better than living in Putnam County.

Mug Hoodie

The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

71
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0
3

Good Decent, comfortable by all means

Juliana Apr 6

My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day

Vern B. Apr 1
✓ Verified Purchase

shirt made me cum

helga s. Mar 31

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

Gayagay Mar 27

people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart

Michael W. Mar 26

Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!

William Mar 19

Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡

💆🏻‍♀️琴 Mar 8

The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂

Rhiannon K. Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.

Eric T. Mar 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition

The person nobody knows Mar 5

BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!

student of PP Mar 5

Awesome tshirt This tshirt is awesome but my name isn't actually Jayson but i bought it for his b-day

Jayson Mar 4

good is it very. i like shirt much,,,,, it contabfortable like it i do.

hhfeqa v. Mar 4

The Fucklix t shirt is perfect but I am still waiting for the xlarge I ordered. These are gifts and will be just what is needed. Hope I receive the xlarge soon then it's time to give them to the people I ordered them for. So glad I saw them . Thanks.

Kathleen J. Feb 27
✓ Verified Purchase

My wife loves it. Nice quality and so funny for the wearer. Thank you!

Todd D. Feb 21
✓ Verified Purchase

The shirt fit amazing, package was shipped rather fast! Thank you so much..

Crystal D. Feb 19
✓ Verified Purchase

It is absolutely perfect and I love wearing it. Thank You.

Kathleen J. Feb 14
✓ Verified Purchase

Love the short mine says bih on it

Neal N. Feb 11

this shit stays on during sex

asas a. Feb 8

Love it! Buyed it for my sister but I had to make it say her favorite anime 💀✨

Milan G. Jan 20
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