Chav Watcher Mug
Just as Bill Oddie may like to observe his Wood Pecker oscillating in and out of a large hole from time to time, I like to view, from a distance at least, the segregated subgroup of desperate humanity that we like to call Chavs. As if you hadn’t already guessed from my pessimistic drones, I dislike chavs with an unceasing hatred, but at times I find them utterly hilarious. When I can, I often watch the humble and increasingly prevalent migration of the Chavs to their local off-licence, where, with a few pence between them, they manage to rustle up about 10 gallons of finest Aldi own-brand cider, and this, with their vastly theatrical habits, beckons giant amounts of predominantly patronising hilarity. Even funnier than watching a 13 year old chav trying to buy alcohol is watching a 13 year old chav trying to drink it. Yes, we've all had a couple of under-age beverages, but never to the extent of the Chav. Walking around Peterborough, for instance, at about 3 in the morning, you find yourself confusing the amassed collection of collapsed Chavs with street furniture. My friend, for example, thought that one young fellow was actually a bench, and sat on him. (What I was doing at Peterborough at 3 AM, I'm not entirely sure). Finding a group of Chavs is easy; all you have to do is look in a park. Walk around, and you'll know you've found a chav when he pulls a knife on you and asks if you've got any nail varnish so he can get high off of it. A white tracksuit is a dead give-away, and you can always see them in the dark because of all of the glowing fags that hover about four-feet off the ground. Rest assured, chavs aren’t actually damaging their lungs with these cigarettes, it’s just to make them look really, really cool. (Detect the sarcasm there?) Chavettes are easily identified because they will be wearing a lurid, metallic looking pink Puffa jacket, and will be wearing hooped earrings, that, I am reliably informed, ‘you could hang a parrot on’. Argos bling is also a dead-cert, however that ‘gold’ chain is in reality off of an old motorbike, and they’ve tinted it using paint bought from the Early Learning Centre. Listening to a chav conversation, I wonder how many words are actually in a Chav's vocabulary. "Fuck", we can presume, features heavily in it, as well as other hilariously patronising ‘expletives’ like "Cock", "Gay", and "Fuck-me-fuck-the-lot-o-ya!" (that, I am assured by a Chav I had the unluckiness of meeting in Peterborough, is actually a single word). Other words which Chavs use as much as these smirk inducing creations include "Mum", "Yur'mum", (which they somehow manage to transform into a single word), and "Innit", which unless you are talking about an old lady's purse, is the least likely place your going to find a male Chav. Overall then, being a chav watcher is great. Being a Chav, however, isn't. Its d’ fuckin trufe, innit!
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
My balls are so wet now that I have bought this item. The nut in my butt is boiling
I've had this mug for over a year now and every single day it watches while I shower. It makes me safe sometimes protects me from the voices. Other times I'm lying on the couch watching judge Judy and eating my hot pickles and the mug becomes angry I feel it approaching me with menacing aura. Next thing I know I'm pooing out pieces of ceramic. Overall, its a great mug but only if you can afford multiple colonoscopy's and extremely invasive anal procedures a year. If you have the money for that THIS IS THE MUG FOR YOU.
This mug has given me a new meaning to wake up everyday. I absolutely adore it and I don’t think my life would be the same if this mug did not exist. A gift from God, truly.
What a sexy ass mug ヾ(*’Ｏ’*)/
My daughter is a Seinfeld afficianato. She was pleasantly surprised when she opened the package with her Penske File mug. It has the definition of Penske File from the Urban dictionary. Totally worth the price!
gay mug very spicy
The Urban Dictionary is a unique place to find anecdotal memories on all sorts of stuff. Their ongoing communication once your order is placed is excellent. I have put in a significant number of orders recently, and the communication regarding my order status is excellent. I have had one order misplaced in transit. They have contacted me to say that they will get back to me, but to this point, they have not. So, that's a bit of a caveat in my rating. Overall, I would rate their products and customer service as good. I would not hesitate to deal with them in the future. Fill Your Boots with Whatever You Want to Order. Nice job, "Urban Dictionary."
Thank you for sharing this Unique piece of Artwork. You are the only one that offered this. Thank you for the quality service you have provided not only in what you offer but right on to the quality packaging as well. Thanks again - Peggy Hall
My brother Tom became an uncle & urban dictionary created a wonderful uncle Tom mug…
It is special to have a mug that has to do with my dad who invented a word when we were growing up. He passed away last year. Drinking from this mug is like spending time with him.
Quick turnaround time and good quality merchandise.
very cool kanye for me gave it to my crush and now were dating so yea
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!