persian

Iranians in the US refer to themselves as Persians. Iranians/Persians living in the US are said to have some of these stereotypes (although I dont have most of them!) 1. at your party you play techno songs the whole freakin' night. 2. you drink tea at the end of the night to sober up 3. You remove the 318 emblem from your BMW and install M3 wheels on the car. 4. You brag to your friend that your BMW was shipped from Germany 5. You keep your black leather jacket on the whole night at the party eventhough it's warm as hell 6. Your parents always call you to help them fill out form that are in English 7. Your parents always complain about the food at the local persian restaurant eventhough they go there every weekend 8. All your persian friends are DJ's 9. You talk in an italian NY style dilect.."yo, ha yoo doin?" 10. After 15 years of marriage, your mother still calls your wife "Aroos" 11.If you talk behind your wife with your mother. 12. If you dress up to go to grocery store. 13. If you go to a concert but never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink checking out girls. 14. You know Amoo Noo Ruz and Haji Firooz will start a light saber fight with the Mullahs and restore the persian jedi order! 15. If you smoke five packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke. 16. If you pronounce "Sure": SHOOR 17. If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head. 18. If you watch Iranian programs on TV, but always nag about them. 19. If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes. 20. If you call a gas station: gas essteshen. 21. If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house. 22. If you divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else. 23. If your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister. 24. If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokababy. 25. If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone but nobody ever calls you. 26. If you claim your dad was a very good friend of the SHAH. 27. If you don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW. 28. If you have to shave more than once a day. 29. If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington,D.C. 30. If your inlaws come to visit but never leave. 31. When they ask "where are you from?" you reply...Italy!!..yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hand. 32. Have rice with yogurt using a spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg. 33. Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not...water in a milk bottle will do just as good. 34. Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice...just in case! 35. Believe no one else can make Kabaab better than us. 36. Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends. 37. Being addicted (so much) to "Tea " that you drink it in a big coffee mug. 38. complain about everybody's accent, but yours. 39. You have to be a Doctor or a Dentist. No other profession in the world is any good. 40. Your future wife/husband must be Iranian. 41. Your Parents must first approve of all your girl/boy friends which is usually settled by inviting them to Dinner. 42. You must be very strong in your Maths class. 43. You mustn't stay out at night beyond 12:00 even though you probably break the curfew every time. 44. Even though you it takes 100 hours to say goodbye to everyone in a party you must do it. 45. Even if you're not hungry you must eat dinner in a party otherwise the host will get mad. 46. Parents must have an unconditional decision in every aspect of your life. 47. Your Parents keep telling you to learn from Reza and how amazing he treats his parents. 48. You must drive under 2 miles per hour when your parents are in your dad's New Mercedes with you driving. 49. You can stay at home living off your parents as long as you want. 50. When you have your arguments with your spouse you have your parents to back you up when your living in their house. 51. Even when you move out to your new home, you mum comes and cooks for you. 52. You take over your dad's business when he retires and begin to make your own business empire which can range from making bar-bari to selling stolen BMWs. 53.You can play takhteh and shatranj and hokm with your grandad for hours while watching NITV. 54. You can have 7 hour Iranian political conversations. 55. You know every single Iranian revolution conspiracy theory from Carter to Mickey Mouse being involved. 56.You tell the story how you met a member of the Pahlavi family 57. You know the story how Khomeini is from Kashmir 58. You can sit with other Iranian fathers and boast about your children 59. You never miss the oppurtunity to tell an American that his khakis, the maths he studies/words he uses, wine and beer he drinks originates from Iran. 60.When your in a crisis your grandmother can blame your parents. 61. You're late to everything 62. Your car is a BMW not a ford. 63. Can't even organize a simple lunch with friends. 64.You refer to yourself as a Persian, not an Iranian 65. Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black 66. You have to explain to americans that a visa is not a credit card 67. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs. 68. Your refer to your dad's friends as Amoo! 69. Your grandmother insists you eat something every time you visit her 70. Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble 71. You know Samad is funnier than Leno/Conan 72. You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life 73. You actually like carbonated yogurt drinks 74. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi 75. You wonder whether a cute guy/ girl is Persian and go up to ask her just to start a conversation 76. You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Mexican or Indian 77. You have to explain to all your friends that being Persian and Iranian are the same thing 78. You have Thanksgiving dinner with rice and "khoresht." 79. After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and play cards, waiting for their tea. 80. your teacher pauses in the middle of attendance to ask how your name is pronounced 81. your friends ask you to speak farsi 82. your teacher asks you to do a presentation about persia 83. your friends ask you why you don't have an accent 84. You bring your family of 11 to the Andy concert including 1 screaming baby, 2 whiny toddlers, 1 sulky teen-age son with a mustache who will get into a knife-fight before the end of the night, 1 teen-age daughter whose skirts are getting shorter every day and who will get at least three phone numbers before the end of the night, 1 unmarried torshideh daughter and 1 unmarried torshideh sister-in-law who will get no phone numbers, 1 even more f.o.b. visiting male mustachioed cousin, and 1 grandmother in roussari who has brought along plastic bags full of pessteh and tokhmeh for the family to consume for the night. 85. you love lavashak (Persian Fruit roll up) 86. your favorite part of eid (Persian New Year) is getting the money 87. you celebrate christmas even though your not christian 88. everybody makes you dance when theirs persian music at your relatives house 89. your dad is the master at making kabob 90. you have to go over your grandparents, aunts or uncles house constantly 91. you eat rice every day 92. if you have a talent you have to perform it in front of your relatives 93. your parents have the longest phone converstations 94. You start off every shopping purchase with..."I Vant Dat vOne" 95. You must constantly remind your non-persian friends to take off they're shoes when they come to your house. 96. Waxing, Waxing, and Some more Waxing 97. Your parents always argue over who should pay for dinner 98. Your parents think everything is a conspiracy 99. You hate Alexander the Great 100. Your uncle has the longest eyebrow one could ever see. 101.One of your aunts put globs of mascara on 102. Your granparents come every other year to get money out of the bank. 103. All your jokes are targeted towards Afghans and Turks 104. Brag to everyone how you are from the true "Aryan" race 105. You drink so much chayee (tea) your piss is brown 106. You take Persian food to school or work to eat, even if it is cold kabob 107. You own a Persian pride hat, shirt, or an Iran jersey so everyone knows you are Persian 108. You try to get hooked up with a discount when the owner of a shop is Persian 109. You tell your friends that persians have the biggest "Goods" 110. You make your move on the blond; never the iranian 111. You refer to every other persian as a FOB. 112. You're always on the verge of trading in your Honda/Nissan for a Bimmer or Mercedes 113. You think Black Cats have talent. 114. You think your uni-brow is sexy. 115. You celebrate when you receive your citizenship 116. You wish Waffle House had "kaleh pache" on the menu. 117. You can't sleep before 3 AM. 118. Your AOL screen name is a cute persian word 119. You only wear Adidas athletic wear. 120. You think Christine Amanpoor is sexy 121. Your cell phone has a stupid-ass ring. 122. You know how to flash your wallet and then put it back without paying. 123. You take dates out to chelo kabob 124. You order hot tea at Chili's 125. You own a fake Rolex, Omega, or TAG. 126. You only vacation in Miami or LA. 127. Your cologne precedes you into a room 128. You've been clubbing since you were 15. 129. You participate in gang bangs 130.If you leave your house at the exact time that the event you're going to is supposed to start, no matter how far you live from the place. (Known as PST - Persian Standard 131. If you call everyone you know as soon as there is an American nightly news show doing a story about Iran or someone from Iran. 132. If you have lived in this country all your life, but you still talk about the revolution as if you were there 133. everyone you know had a nose job and dyed their hair blond after the revolution. 134. Your family still wants to go back to iran for visits after all has happened. 135. Your grandparents still want to bring dates and dried cranberreis from iran. 136. You call iran "Iroon" and you think salar should become Prez of Persia. 137. You thought that Dr. Kavita Rao in X-Men: The Last Stand sounded familiar to you and looked pretty cute in that nurse outfit. aka... Shohreh Aghdashloo