Vangoojie Mug
Vangoojie (noun) Originally a subfamily of the larger species "vanjitera pliaesis," the modern Vangoojie became its own species when the ancient subfamilies split and migrated to the eastern front of Greater Illania. As the species became its own, it also gained many characteristic traits, some of which include the ability to burrow underneath the ground, create sound of frequencies up to 50,000 Hz, and stare at the sun for an hour without blinking. The last of these things comes from a blatant and substantial gap in intelligence that the species's evolution created. For reasons unbeknownst to scientists, any Vangoojie assigned from birth to be a civilian is incredibly lacking in intelligence. However, any Vangoojie deemed a king inexplicably gains intelligence beyond that of genius level by human standards. Despite this fact, there are no physical differences between a civilian Vangoojie and a king Vangoojie. Even so, scientists at Harvard University have deemed them each to be a species of their own; "vanjitera idocrisis" and "vanjitera eincisis". The Vangoojie lifestyle, though different for both subdivisions, is a simple one. For a civilian, life consists of eating, sleeping, staring at the sun, digging tunnels that the king ordered to be dug, digging tunnels that the civilian thought the king ordered to be dug, and digging tunnels that the king did not order to be dug. For a king, life consists of feeding, resting, covering fellow Vangoojie's eyes, watching over ordered tunnels as they are dug, stopping tunnels from being dug that the civilians thought were needed to be done, and hurting itself whilst falling through a weak spot in the ground from a tunnel that had been dug directly underneath it. This entire lifestyle is epitomized by the words of the researcher who originally watched these creatures in action, William Durr, when he says, "The life of a Vangoojie king consists solely of living life as it comes, making up for the idiotic things its peers do, and forever being wrongly accused of being an idiot itself, while in truth being a genius."
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
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The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
This mug made me horny.
looks perfect!!! we loved it
I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen
I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better