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IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters. ``My dear Mr. Bennet,'' said his lady to him one day, ``have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?'' Mr. Bennet replied that he had not. ``But it is,'' returned she; ``for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.'' Mr. Bennet made no answer. ``Do not you want to know who has taken it?'' cried his wife impatiently. ``You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.'' This was invitation enough. ``Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week.'' ``What is his name?'' ``Bingley.'' ``Is he married or single?'' ``Oh! single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!'' ``How so? how can it affect them?'' ``My dear Mr. Bennet,'' replied his wife, ``how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them.'' ``Is that his design in settling here?'' ``Design! nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.'' ``I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley might like you the best of the party.'' ``My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty.'' ``In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of.'' ``But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood.'' ``It is more than I engage for, I assure you.'' ``But consider your daughters. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know they visit no new comers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not.'' ``You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying which ever he chuses of the girls; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzy.'' ``I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference.'' ``They have none of them much to recommend them,'' replied he; ``they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters.'' ``Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.'' ``You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.'' ``Ah! you do not know what I suffer.'' ``But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood.'' ``It will be no use to us if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them.'' ``Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty I will visit them all.'' Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develope. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.

Tee Hoodie

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

636
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This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.

Jeffery E. Apr 29

Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.

Daniel S. Apr 29
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I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.

David M. Apr 29
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This mug looks great! I love it!

Rebecca J. Apr 28
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I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459

Rowan P. Apr 28

This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing

Luke K. Apr 28

War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.

ha h. Apr 28

Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.

Michael T. Apr 28

I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother

Deni B. Apr 27

Super Funny Mug 😂

Emmanuel D. Apr 27

best mug ever spittin nothin but fax

Thomas J. Apr 27

i fucking hate your mugs and shirts

annette Apr 26
Review by joe M.

awesome product!

joe M. Apr 25

This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help

Quantavious B. Apr 24

The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.

normal g. Apr 24

It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy

Evan G. Apr 23

This mug made me horny.

Quandale D. Apr 23

looks perfect!!! we loved it

Thalia A. Apr 22
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I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen

Mark M. Apr 22
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I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better

Quandale D. Apr 21
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