VAR
The scenario: The rangers player got dribbled past in the box by a Celtic player from which he dived. The VAR Person is female. Rangers player (still whinging): AHH! REF! PENALTY!! The Celtic defender + goalie: Och! Get up the noo! Ya diver! The Ref: Yeah thats a dive mate VAR Person (saying in the refs earpiece): OH NO ITS NOT! Ref: Its clear he did no touch him! VAR Person: But, but, but the player is in my fantasy team! Ref: So? He was a bloody meter away! Var Person: But, but, but (starts crying) WAHHHH! IM A RANGERS FAN!!! WAHHHHH! Ref: Ive got no choice Ref: Sadly, its a pen. Rangers player: YAYYYYY!!! Var Person: YAYYYYYY! Now i can get back to Fortnite OG! Celtic Defender: What in the hell are these guys on? Goalie: They're high thats for sure. Ref: *gives* Rangers Player decides to punch the defender in the face Ref: RED CARD! YOUR FUCKING OFF! VAR Person: WAHHHHHHHH! HE'S IN MY FANTASY TEAM!! Var person: I also have a fantasy of him fucking me with his 10 inch cock! Ref: No fanfic in stadia! Var person: But im the Var Person! And he's so hot! *Starts moaning rapidly* Ref: AYE THATS IT! IM NO LISTENING TO YA! HE'S FUCKING OFF! Var person: Great! Now he can fuck me in peace! Ref: SORRY BUT YOU'VE NO GOT A CHANCE WITH HIM! Ref: GET THE FUCK OFF THIS PITCH! Rangers player: ok Rangers takes the pen They miss Celtic win the scottish cup They win the Champions League The fanfic of the var person and rangers player will continue soon
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
i use my mug for sperm donation
10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?
Needed one to gift to my colleague in pests exptermination department, takes care of my bug pretty well. Damn well of a bugger, if I would, ol' chap. 😌
My nan bought this mug, took one sip and died on the spot. absolute joke.
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