The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good. Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone. The dialogue that follows should go something like this. You: "Yeah. It's me." Girl: "Do I know you?" You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn." Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?" You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..." Girl: "Shelley." You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao." Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back... You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Girl: "Yes! Please." You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?" Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo." And it is on.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Awesome mugs! My GF laughed her ass off, lol!!!
t-this mug changed my life. At first i was a loner but then i bought this mug and i became HIM. I thank this mug everyday for its blessings
Cute, good quality, *****!
Exactly as expected!
My order was delivered very quickly and was high quality. Glad to add it to my mug shelf.
God is still alive. The existence of this mug shows there is still faith that god is dead and is listening to us. God Bless,
Gay Label Adore this. Ordered for my husband, with the second definition on the back, about the gay filmmaker. Makes a nice discussion starter.
Top notch shipping and exactly what I hoped!!
Best mug i have ever purchased! Subscribe
I love it, but of course the definition Ichose for “Unicorn” is too long and gets cut off after “someone is remarkably attractive.” Is there any way to purchase a second mug that has the rest of the quote on it? They’d make a great set as a present. Please let me know. David Tillinghast dtilling480@gmail.com
"Turtle on my name". A tribute to the 50 odd years of misheard lyrics.
My friend couldn’t stop laughing when I gave it to him!
I got mugged A man mugged me and then said I had da big gaye
I love the costume coffee mug. What can you say that's bad about it. It's your choice after all. It's the best mug and I love it😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️
these mugs are amazing. I can't
My Power Bottom Queen loves her eggplant colored mug and I let her celebrate her title whenever she so chooses
I use black hobby paint & small brush to add recipient’s name to back of mug (which I requested be left blank - thank you!). This is a terrific gift for hard-to-buy-for slightly warped friends! BG
good mug but why does it sometimes say creepy things to me kinda sus ngl
up ya bum
Fast shipment Better than expected!
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