Mortanius
1. The oldest creature in the world, though not of this world. Mortanius was transformed into a single-cell organism and abandoned on the earth 44 billion years ago by his native race. Over the last 44 billion years, he has evolved into an ambiguous, malevolent being. He can take, but is not limited to, the following forms: -man-sized roach -mischevious fox present in Japanese mythology -various trees -crude robot -various insects -Egyptian jackal deity, though he is most skittish in this form, often denying that he takes it. -sickly human -jet-propelled swimming pool cleaner -television (in this form, fond of saying 'fiddle with my knobs') In addition, Mortanius suffers unknowingly from heroin addiction and ejaculates all bodily fluids nightly. The being also has several additional characteristics, including the ability to stretch his neck, control all plant life except members of "the resistance," control insects and maintain animation despite death and decay. He also enjoys limited control over a symbiote that has attached itself to his body, though he has never been able to coerce the symbiote to his most desired "penis fingers" form.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Veryfast ship in todays world...nice quality mug....will be buying more
Gave it to my uncle and he rewarded me with a wet kiss. Best gift ever!
mug gud, got it for my gf but mug just made her pregananant. Help pliz mug says its going after my thicc mum next. pliz send help
I love the personalized mug I got from you! I never thought there were mugs available like the one I got and it's going to make the BEST holiday gift! Thank-you!!
My friend and I added a word ! Gotta get merch of it now. Thanks for the coffee mug!
Easy to order quality mug.
It’s cute and wasn’t broken when it shipped. Just smaller than expected
I got it in the mail. then The next day it was sleeping with My non Existant Gf
I thought this mug was a bear.
it is pretty good but not all of it describes me god bless all Nevaeh's
i love it i love this mug my boyfriend got this for me as a gift i love it very much i highly recommend this for you or a loved one it is very good i am planning to get my mans one on his birthday i hope he will love it thanks guys for listening
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This was a phrase my husband and I made up even we first started dating. We laughed so hard while submitting it. The mug is perfect!
Urban Dictionary. Mixes truth with lies. Keeps a record. Thanks for the truthful parts, bro. 🙏💪✝️
I wish I had this mug I SOOOO wish I had this mug! I never find anything that has my name on it unless I have it custom made. I'm actually quite surprised that 'Lani' is on the Urban Dictionary... And the definition is pretty accurate ;)
really awesome mug I gave this mug as a secret Santa gift and and my cousin still uses it to this day. It is truly a awesome mug and it deserves 5 stars.
i shit in it
I cumed in my pants when it arrived in the mail. no more porn, just mug
i love it. my friend loved it. yay. now i'm happy and not depressed anymore.
You can't get a mug from any other dictionary site
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