Mortanius
1. The oldest creature in the world, though not of this world. Mortanius was transformed into a single-cell organism and abandoned on the earth 44 billion years ago by his native race. Over the last 44 billion years, he has evolved into an ambiguous, malevolent being. He can take, but is not limited to, the following forms: -man-sized roach -mischevious fox present in Japanese mythology -various trees -crude robot -various insects -Egyptian jackal deity, though he is most skittish in this form, often denying that he takes it. -sickly human -jet-propelled swimming pool cleaner -television (in this form, fond of saying 'fiddle with my knobs') In addition, Mortanius suffers unknowingly from heroin addiction and ejaculates all bodily fluids nightly. The being also has several additional characteristics, including the ability to stretch his neck, control all plant life except members of "the resistance," control insects and maintain animation despite death and decay. He also enjoys limited control over a symbiote that has attached itself to his body, though he has never been able to coerce the symbiote to his most desired "penis fingers" form.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Item came on time as promised
Came within a week and it's exactly what I ordered, my friend will love it!
Sus cup I bought the sus mug for the sus king Daequan
Good quality, packaging shipped well, arrived quickly.
My mug came in broken but Urban Dictionary replaced it at no extra charge!
Excellent mug excellent service
this is the best for coffee and hot coco especially if you make the hot coco in it then pour it on your significant other and do body shots 😋🥱
I can pass away peacefully. This mug is everything I’ve ever needed and more. Fat thank you, Urban Dictionary. <3
I was really excited to receive this mug and when it did come it was perfect quality. My only complaint is that the color I choose was green teal but it came in yellow.
As always, easy to order and not-too-long of a wait for the finished product to arrive. It’s well-printed, and very sturdy. A great gag present for wedding party members.
The mug , color and saying are perfect! PMEO is what I say at work everyday. It has become a favorite saying for my coworkers when things go haywire!
Quality and style are outstanding relative to price point.
Love it! It is my favorite mug. Easy to hold because of its shape and weight. Now my go-to mug.
My wife is truly beautiful and this cup was perfect for her.
Awesome mugs! My GF laughed her ass off, lol!!!
t-this mug changed my life. At first i was a loner but then i bought this mug and i became HIM. I thank this mug everyday for its blessings
Cute, good quality, *****!
Exactly as expected!
My order was delivered very quickly and was high quality. Glad to add it to my mug shelf.
God is still alive. The existence of this mug shows there is still faith that god is dead and is listening to us. God Bless,
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