jesus
A bastard carpenter who was constantly followed by a group of stoners convinced that he was the son of god. He was born the son of a prostitute (stage name: 'The Virgin Mary') and one of a trio of kings who were present at his birth (the impregnation a result of a failed condom during an orgy involving said trio and prostitute) offering child support in the form of gifts so as not to arouse the suspicion of the husband (he was not aware of his wife's 'other' occupation). Jesus (pronounced "ho-zay" but interpreted as "Jee-zus" because the bloody English can't do anything right) would take up carpentry as his trade years later after an incident where he was lost in a dessert for a great many years and failed to pass in his admission essay for law-school by the due date. It was at this time that the druggies appeared into his life, lazily hanging out in the alley next to Jesus' workshop. The exact reason for being dubbed the son of god is still debated by scholars but it is rumored that it had something to do with a neck injury Jesus had sustained, resulting in his wearing of a halo neck brace for a month or so. In approximately 35 AD (Time Paradox?), Jesus was convicted of being a cannibal and vampire after a dinner party at which he supposedly served blood-wine and people-bread. He was crucified and stabbed with a spear (overkill) by a group of hateful Jews. He was resurrected, however, by by a combination of necromancy and T-virusmancy as a zombie. A great many people died by his hands and he went uncontested for many years (he is credited with the Black Death) until a group of religious fanatics lead by L. DaVinci captured and deported him to Mexico. There he lives today, running rampant and sating his bloodlust by killing goats under the alias 'El Chupacabra'.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
As a Jolology major, I love my new mug!
It was for a friends 70th b-day. When we order it, it was going to come 2 day after the party. But we were so excited it came 3 days before his party. It was a big hit. Thank you.
I gave it as a gift and the recipient loved it. No indication where it was made, so maybe USA? That would be really nice, if so.
I appreciated the email asking if the content was correct. Excellent quality and attention to detail. Thank you!
its an incredible mug! i would recommend purchasing this awesome product!
Damonism and #Stolen Valor Coffee Mug These coffee mugs are rugged, solid, high quality and keep the liquids hotter, longer. The definitions of both mugs are spot-on! I will definitely by more. Great work Urban Dictionary!
why is this a real thing? AND YA'LL ACTING LIKE IT'S NORMAL!?
I really like the mug, but I thought I had ordered the all pink one. What came was a white with a block of pink with "Fubar" written on it.
the only reason why i care about humanity this mug is the reason why i believe humanity deserves a second chance, even after they blaspheme my name. this mug is the greatest thing i've ever seen and i have ordered many of them. this mug replaces the holy grail. the bible should've told about the wonderful deeds of the mug and how it saved humanity from my wrath. alas, whilst the laws keep me from tampering with human minds and altering holy objects like the bible, i can only pass on my message: "spread the news and buy this mug!"
Its.. omg, its............. AMAZING AMAZING OMG ITS SOOO GOOD
A mug for your boyfriend Paul????? My boyfriend is not called Paul. I don't even have a boyfriend
Great mug... finally got my ""your mom gay lol" mug, I'm so happy
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
It was easy to correct grammar when necessary, and then to order a great gift for a member of a wedding party. Nice, simple, and sturdy mug.
with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.
Love that I got an Urban Dictionary word definition from someone I know! So much fun and great memory item!! 😊
I like it but it took a long time getting here
Very basic mug but does the trick!
The mug is of good quality but advertisement needs to change as the sample photo for ordering gives the customer an illusion that the entire mug is of that color ordered when it is not
muffinism mug very bold mug i love it u should buy one
Review Details
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Debug: Product Metadata
| Key | Value (click to copy) |
|---|---|
Copied! |
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.