jesus
A bastard carpenter who was constantly followed by a group of stoners convinced that he was the son of god. He was born the son of a prostitute (stage name: 'The Virgin Mary') and one of a trio of kings who were present at his birth (the impregnation a result of a failed condom during an orgy involving said trio and prostitute) offering child support in the form of gifts so as not to arouse the suspicion of the husband (he was not aware of his wife's 'other' occupation). Jesus (pronounced "ho-zay" but interpreted as "Jee-zus" because the bloody English can't do anything right) would take up carpentry as his trade years later after an incident where he was lost in a dessert for a great many years and failed to pass in his admission essay for law-school by the due date. It was at this time that the druggies appeared into his life, lazily hanging out in the alley next to Jesus' workshop. The exact reason for being dubbed the son of god is still debated by scholars but it is rumored that it had something to do with a neck injury Jesus had sustained, resulting in his wearing of a halo neck brace for a month or so. In approximately 35 AD (Time Paradox?), Jesus was convicted of being a cannibal and vampire after a dinner party at which he supposedly served blood-wine and people-bread. He was crucified and stabbed with a spear (overkill) by a group of hateful Jews. He was resurrected, however, by by a combination of necromancy and T-virusmancy as a zombie. A great many people died by his hands and he went uncontested for many years (he is credited with the Black Death) until a group of religious fanatics lead by L. DaVinci captured and deported him to Mexico. There he lives today, running rampant and sating his bloodlust by killing goats under the alias 'El Chupacabra'.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Oof oof this mug gives me life every single day. i have no other reason to wake up in the morning. also this website is the only thing that's ever loved me.
The fact you guys make custom mugs is the most hilarious yet smartest thing ever, thank you so much I'm definitely gonna collect these and chuckle at the crazy words/terms only I will understand the depth of! 😂
Nice, but I need the “Reservation Dogs” version of “Aho!”
The mug is a gift for our Fantasy Football league winner…or loser. I'm not sure yet; it's a bit of a spoof that will be disclosed on Thanksgiving.
Love it just like your ranking to be noticed at 4 to stabilize with bots at 5 but looks real
Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
My real first name is Ancil and I must say this is by far the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life and I love you all.
YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT
What is there to say? It's a mug, with a word in front and the definition in back. Nicely done!
This will be the perfect gift this winter! It even came in a nice little box. The mug seems to be of good quality. It was a bit pricy, got to be honest, but it’ll be very well received.
Deathless but probably comatose verse This cup is a beautiful mug From which I am happy to chug while engaging in jomo (the obverse of fomo), and pulling the ol' cyber plug.
The mug is just the right size, and the graphics are awesome!
This mug... this mug gave me a feeling that I can only describe as pure euphoria. The 'MRI - Man's a Real Idiot' mug is truly a gift from above. I cannot express how happy I am with it. When it arrived at my front door, it was a moment of epiphany for myself. My eyes were opened. I understood what was missing in my life... and it was that very mug. Whoever created it is truly gifted. I bless them. You too could purchase it, although the price may seem high at first, for what it is, it is the greatest deal one could ever make.
Would have like the entire cup with purple color. Not just the part with the slogan. It's a nice cup!
Wow! Outstanding mug! I strive to be swoogish one day
It was fantastic very good quality.
Was purchased as a gift . Very well received . Easy ordering . Arrived earlier than predicted.excellent quality. Would recommend to friends and family and will definitely order again in the future.
The mug I ordered came in perfect shape In a box obviously designed for safe shipping. Quality is beautiful and is exactly as described. Thank you!
ABSOLUTE ART WORK!!!!! This is literally the best mug in the world. My entire family has one (wife, 2 daughters, and 3 sons). I would definitely recommend and place it as a mounoment.
Hilarious, I couldn't help but burst out loud in laughter.... !!!
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