jesus
A bastard carpenter who was constantly followed by a group of stoners convinced that he was the son of god. He was born the son of a prostitute (stage name: 'The Virgin Mary') and one of a trio of kings who were present at his birth (the impregnation a result of a failed condom during an orgy involving said trio and prostitute) offering child support in the form of gifts so as not to arouse the suspicion of the husband (he was not aware of his wife's 'other' occupation). Jesus (pronounced "ho-zay" but interpreted as "Jee-zus" because the bloody English can't do anything right) would take up carpentry as his trade years later after an incident where he was lost in a dessert for a great many years and failed to pass in his admission essay for law-school by the due date. It was at this time that the druggies appeared into his life, lazily hanging out in the alley next to Jesus' workshop. The exact reason for being dubbed the son of god is still debated by scholars but it is rumored that it had something to do with a neck injury Jesus had sustained, resulting in his wearing of a halo neck brace for a month or so. In approximately 35 AD (Time Paradox?), Jesus was convicted of being a cannibal and vampire after a dinner party at which he supposedly served blood-wine and people-bread. He was crucified and stabbed with a spear (overkill) by a group of hateful Jews. He was resurrected, however, by by a combination of necromancy and T-virusmancy as a zombie. A great many people died by his hands and he went uncontested for many years (he is credited with the Black Death) until a group of religious fanatics lead by L. DaVinci captured and deported him to Mexico. There he lives today, running rampant and sating his bloodlust by killing goats under the alias 'El Chupacabra'.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Fast shipment Better than expected!
Customer service was very responsive and helpful
Wowzers

Every web purchase should be this easy! Love it!

Great quality, although a high price for a mug! Printed really nicely and came out really well. $30 worth the laugh.
High quality finish
I just love mugs
balls
HA HA I USED FUNNI NUMBER FUNNI NUMBER GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
gave it to my mom, she was proud. (shes dead)
My maiden name was Puddy and I just loved this mug that defined what Puddy means! I bought one for my brother as well as one for me… And this is the first time in all of our 70 + years that we have heard Puddy defined! We both are super grateful!
The color of the block highlighting the subject word was labeled "Flamingo Pink", but on the mug, it's actually closer to lilac and the woman I bought this mug for loves the color pink. I do like the apparent permanence of the design on the mug, I'm just disappointed with the inaccuracy of the color.
One day when I was walking down the street a man gave me this mug and said that it will be the best thing that ever happened to me, when I got home I filled the mug with the most delicious coffee and I became a penis. this is the best mug in the world thank you kind stranger for giving me this.
quimsy is my son's name. i find this mug overwhelming. there not man things in my possession that i find as overwhelming as this mug
Ah SlaTT Th1S mUg g0T M3 oN THa7 T1M3... S1PP1N L3AN OuT D1S sH1t 🧛♂️💉 *JuS7 A J0k3 vAmP 🤟🏿
This helped me figure out what the word meant when my 35 year old father said he would beat my doonies down. For context I am 12.
Great, it was a gift and he loved it
These mugs are great! Great Quality and variety of colors also!
Awesome mugs!
this mug helped me in my deepest times. my son just learnt to poo and i couldnt finnd anything to wipe! :( THIS HELPED ME WIPE. the bois reccomended this and i truly love it. amazing piece. thank you for your time.
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