Jake Pearson
A gentleman of Chinese origin who was a renowned harlequin during the Prussian Civil War. Well known for his ability to eat metal and divide 9 digit numbers by 7 in his head, he often wore lederhosen and fake fur coats. Born in 1763 in the town of Coffewang, Austria, he spent his early years milking cows, goats and even badgers on a rural farm, joining the circus in 1770 as a juggler. Little is known of the next few years of his life, although by 1784 he was employed as a courthand of King Bendilegs of Latvia. However, due to an unfortunate situation he found himself him with the King's eldest Son (rumour has it they were caught copulating in the Royal Chambers) he was sentenced to be hung as a practicing homosexual (which in that era was a crime punishable by death). The King's son was exiled and travelled to Spain where he took up employment as a minister, but Jake was spared of his fate due to his previous loyalty and ability to amuse the King. He worked from that day on a court jester (harlequin) until his untimely death in 1806 after consuming a tainted slab of marzipan, poisoned by those opposed to the King's proposal to impose a land tax to wealthy landowners that was nearly 3% above the base rate in that region.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.
Oof oof this mug gives me life every single day. i have no other reason to wake up in the morning. also this website is the only thing that's ever loved me.
Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT
Deathless but probably comatose verse This cup is a beautiful mug From which I am happy to chug while engaging in jomo (the obverse of fomo), and pulling the ol' cyber plug.
It understands me. this mug has treated me better than any girl i've ever dated, and every bro i've chilled in the same bed with. we've been though thick and thin, but mostly thicc. i used to be depressed, but now this mug holds my existential fears so i dont need to carry them with me. i even wrote a song about my mug: mary had a little mug, e-i-e-i-o how i wonder what you are, floppy dongs near and far, cherri had a real thicc mug, e-i-e-i-despaci-to
Sickm8 it was blooming gr8 for me GF. She bloody loved it. Onya!!!! ;)
I can't stop putting weird things on the cup I love this website 😆
My nut hurts my nut hurts help
Why?! I can't stop doing lewd things to this mug, it keeps on telling me to stop but I respond with hitting it. PLEASE HELP ME! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
cure my depression really good i love it. also my dog cant stop doing things to it.
I Like This Mug because im thicc and therefor this mug is thicc
Ok These mugs are really easy presents for the people you love i would find the best example of them and then buy and mug and give it to them as a present So simple
Ok it’s a mug drink from it act edgy with it who cares
why i want this mug i want this mug because I LOVE JUDE :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Your Order Journey
Today - Order Placed
Your order joins today's production batch by 11PM Pacific Time
Next Day - Quality Check
We review your order and prepare it for production
Production
Your product is created on-demand at the nearest facility, reducing waste and shipping time
Shipping
Your package begins its journey to you
Delivered!
Your custom product arrives at your doorstep
Times may vary based on your location and production facility
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.