Jake Pearson
A gentleman of Chinese origin who was a renowned harlequin during the Prussian Civil War. Well known for his ability to eat metal and divide 9 digit numbers by 7 in his head, he often wore lederhosen and fake fur coats. Born in 1763 in the town of Coffewang, Austria, he spent his early years milking cows, goats and even badgers on a rural farm, joining the circus in 1770 as a juggler. Little is known of the next few years of his life, although by 1784 he was employed as a courthand of King Bendilegs of Latvia. However, due to an unfortunate situation he found himself him with the King's eldest Son (rumour has it they were caught copulating in the Royal Chambers) he was sentenced to be hung as a practicing homosexual (which in that era was a crime punishable by death). The King's son was exiled and travelled to Spain where he took up employment as a minister, but Jake was spared of his fate due to his previous loyalty and ability to amuse the King. He worked from that day on a court jester (harlequin) until his untimely death in 1806 after consuming a tainted slab of marzipan, poisoned by those opposed to the King's proposal to impose a land tax to wealthy landowners that was nearly 3% above the base rate in that region.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
I got it in the mail. then The next day it was sleeping with My non Existant Gf
I thought this mug was a bear.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :))))))))
i shit in it
I cumed in my pants when it arrived in the mail. no more porn, just mug
You can't get a mug from any other dictionary site
Perfect cuup of coffee size, and the printing is spot on!
My friend saw the message on the cup ordered at a mutual friends house. We think it’s hilarious so had to put it on a coffee cup. Funny, great Christmas present. If she can’t use in public she can always use at home for pens and pencils on her desk!
Bought the "Bump Down" mug for my boyfriend, he thought it was the greatest and couldn't believe I'd actually found something with the phrase on it!
I took time designing it but wasn't sure, online tools being what they are, that what I was seeing was for sure what I'd get. Very much appreciated the customer service communication which verified that what I'd designed was what I wanted, and the shipping was quick too.
Good quality, packaging shipped well, arrived quickly.
this is the best for coffee and hot coco especially if you make the hot coco in it then pour it on your significant other and do body shots 😋🥱
I can pass away peacefully. This mug is everything I’ve ever needed and more. Fat thank you, Urban Dictionary. <3
Top notch shipping and exactly what I hoped!!
"Turtle on my name". A tribute to the 50 odd years of misheard lyrics.
these mugs are amazing. I can't
good mug but why does it sometimes say creepy things to me kinda sus ngl
up ya bum
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