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Jake Pearson

A gentleman of Chinese origin who was a renowned harlequin during the Prussian Civil War. Well known for his ability to eat metal and divide 9 digit numbers by 7 in his head, he often wore lederhosen and fake fur coats. Born in 1763 in the town of Coffewang, Austria, he spent his early years milking cows, goats and even badgers on a rural farm, joining the circus in 1770 as a juggler. Little is known of the next few years of his life, although by 1784 he was employed as a courthand of King Bendilegs of Latvia. However, due to an unfortunate situation he found himself him with the King's eldest Son (rumour has it they were caught copulating in the Royal Chambers) he was sentenced to be hung as a practicing homosexual (which in that era was a crime punishable by death). The King's son was exiled and travelled to Spain where he took up employment as a minister, but Jake was spared of his fate due to his previous loyalty and ability to amuse the King. He worked from that day on a court jester (harlequin) until his untimely death in 1806 after consuming a tainted slab of marzipan, poisoned by those opposed to the King's proposal to impose a land tax to wealthy landowners that was nearly 3% above the base rate in that region.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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I got morb’d

Morbiu S.Jun 27

This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!

kill m.Jun 26

This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled

Doop S.Jun 26
Review by Fay D.

Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!

Fay D.Jun 25
✓ Verified Purchase

Smaller than I expected for the price.

Susan .Jun 25
✓ Verified Purchase

i use my mug for sperm donation

QuandaleJun 24

10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?

Mike O.Jun 24

Needed one to gift to my colleague in pests exptermination department, takes care of my bug pretty well. Damn well of a bugger, if I would, ol' chap. 😌

Juck F.Jun 24

My nan bought this mug, took one sip and died on the spot. absolute joke.

Joseph M.Jun 23

it was day my mug had just arived i went to the door and grabed the box i closed the door AND BAM thge mug flew at me knockingme to the grouynd when on the ground the mug unzipped my pant a flew up my ass 10/10 loved it would buy

help c.Jun 23

I love pooping in this mug, great experince. But if you do more than 1 pound as I do, search for a bigger one

Giorgio G.Jun 23

i love men and cups so this cup was perfect for me

quiinten G.Jun 23

Amazing mug, really high quality, I love it!

Sponge B.Jun 23

fantastic, personal gift to share with anyone!

Doran M.Jun 23
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by Darlene M.

The mug arrived very packed and on time. I love how well crafted the coffee mug is. I plan on ordering other merch from URBAN Dictionary soon. Thanks.

Darlene M.Jun 23
✓ Verified Purchase

It morbed its way into my anus, a bit weird, but otherwise happy with my purchase

Morb i.Jun 22

After watching that anal jar video, I felt inspired. That's when I found this mug.

Billy J.Jun 22

FUCK YEAAAAAAAA! MUUUUGZ WOOOOOO

ASDJun 21

Happy with my purchase

Jennifer S.Jun 20
✓ Verified Purchase

amazing I will buy this. it will be my child. I WILL BE KING OF THE 0w0

0w0 kingJun 20

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