chain letter Mug
Once in a while I want to thank all the people in the US who have taken the time and trouble to send me their email chain letters all year round. Actually I want to thank them for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of their concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. In fact, I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be surprised by Anthrax powder. Nor do I attend movies any longer for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since the delivery people are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I always wear rubber gloves when opening my mail in order to avoid the deadly Klingerman virus that starts out with severe dysentery. I never keep my car windows open at a stoplight for fear of a Spunkball that would be thrown inside that could cause a large, deadly fire. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to them, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (I don't remember that in the Bible.) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program. Yes, I want to thank all of them soooo much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor! If they don't send another e-mail chain letter to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on their heads head this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician! Honest!
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
Speedy shipping and as always love the mug especially since I created the word!
My brother is a marathon runner, but he’s British. Instead of drinking water from a bottle like a sane person, he uses this to drink his black tea during runs. Now I can die in peace knowing he’s drinking from a mug with the definition of the word “objectumsexual” for some reason.
Bought this without checking the back for my 12 year old cousin's birthday who adores trains! He's a lil autistic. I thought to 'run a train' meant to work on it and keep it running, much like my cousin is always talking about how he wants to drive a train. I was distraught to hear him turn over the mug on his bday in front of his two very strict puritan parents. My auntie and uncle are threatening to put me on a list now and threatening to sue me for defamation or some shit idk i didnt go to law school cus im not a nerd lols. (unlike them who both went to university) i got a kick ass job as a bouncer for an under 18s club - youd be surprised how big 12 year olds get- but they are just stupid. im worried i might get fired if this leaks.) Thanks a bunch! (sarcasn) - im feeling p down atm, if anyone could cheer me up, my number is 0800 1111, if anyone wants to do whats on the mug LOL (serious). btw, i kept the mug for myself since i found it decently adequate and quite tasteful. /srs
Thanks guys, I knew I was hot but not *that* hot
Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.