Urban Dictionary Hoodies

swaffling: The act of slapping something with a semi-erect penis. It's derived from the Dutch verb "swaffelen". In 2008 it won the title "Dutch word of the year" in a yearly held competion where the Dutch speaking public can vote online which new word, that originated in that year, they liked the most. It had gotten a lot of media attention because a Dutch student "swaffled" the Taj Mahal on a school trip; and got expelled from his school for that action. Recently Brittish carshow host Jeremy Clarkson mentioned it in a talkshow (BBC Qi), where he gave the definition: "To bang your penis against the Taj Mahal". He also mentioned the word on the fifth episode of the new carshow "The Grand Tour" which was hosted from a tent in Rotterdam (the Netherlands).

calendar wolf: A wolf that has been hand-raised for the sole reason of photographed for calendars. Usually, calendar wolves look much healthier than their wild cousins, and eat not from freshly killed prey, but a bowl with their name on it. Could also refer to a disingenuous person, or a poseur.

Snubgrub: “Snubgrub (noun): A term used to describe the specific feeling or situation in which an individual experiences hunger or the desire to eat, yet simultaneously expresses a strong aversion or reluctance to consume any of the available food items within their immediate environment, particularly in one’s kitchen.

cessy: Drunk, wasted, hammered, shitfaced. Short for cesspool.

somethingburger: A term used when the person speaking or writing is partially true, coherent or fulfilling in some way. May also be used for when it’s mostly or partially false and/or incoherent.

Boonscrolling: The opposite of doomscrolling, where one refreshes or advances through social media feeds looking for relatable, positive, and uplifting content, often with the effect of forging connections where they didn't previously exist.

totty: Totty is British slang for sexy women, also rhymes with hottie

flake watch: When you're closely observing someone who you believe might flake on you, you have them on flake watch.

Taint Tanning: Taint Tanning - the act of going full ass up, crotch open during a tanning session in order to get color/tan on that elusive 1" patch of real estate, and eliminate "butt smile lines". The exact opposite of anal bleaching. Butthole shade matching the surrounding skin tone. Taint - The perineum is the space between the anus and scrotum in the male and between the anus and the vulva in the female. The perineum is the region of the body between the pubic symphysis (pubic arch) and the coccyx (tail bone), including the perineal body and surrounding structures. Tanning - is the process whereby skin color is darkened or tanned. It is most often a result of exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sunlight or from artificial sources, such as a tanning lamp found in indoor tanning beds. People who deliberately tan their skin by exposure to the sun engage in a passive recreational activity of sun bathing. Some people use chemical products which can produce a tanning effect without exposure to ultraviolet radiation, known as sunless tanning. Post THAT shit !!!!

Gob: "Gob" is a quaint English term of endearment that is often used to express one's deep affection and commitment to their significant other. This term is typically used when one wants to express their desire to nourish and sustain their partner for a lifetime. The term "gob" is derived from the Old English word "gobba," which means "mouthful," and is often associated with the act of feeding someone. When someone says "my gob," they are essentially saying that they want to provide for their loved one and take care of their every need, particularly when it comes to food. It's a term that is deeply rooted in the idea of nurturing and caring for one another, and it's often used to express the depth of one's love and devotion. So if you ever hear someone refer to their partner as "my gob," you can be sure that they are expressing their desire to care for and provide for their loved one for the rest of their days. It's a sweet and sentimental term that truly embodies the meaning of true love and commitment.

Mockstalgia: Any revisit of a thing, be it music, art or otherwise, that tries to evoke nostalgia but rings hollow like it's also mocking said thing. A thinly veiled inside joke

Trash Owl: Someone who constantly ruins their sleep schedule, through no real fault of their own.

scuppie: A yuppie with a social conscience. Someone 'green' who loves the earth as much as money.

mzungu: In Swahili (the lingua franca of East Africa): someone who wanders without purpose / someone constantly on the move. It came to be applied to all white people in East Africa, as most were encountered as traders, visiting colonial officials or tourists. Today, white tourists are often greeted (especially by children) with the cry: "Bye bye mzungu!" For some reason, they rarely say "Hello mzungu!" when they see one coming...

Chocolate Abs: An Asian male who has defined, muscular abdominal muscles that look like the subdivided parts of a chocolate bar.

Tamagotchi effect: The term one uses when a person develops a strong emotional attachment towards a machine or a robot.

iPhone face: The face of an actor who is playing a character in a period piece but has a modern looking face– like they would know what an iPhone is.

blunch: First meal of day eaten at lunchtime. As opposed to brunch which is eaten at 10 or 11, blunch is eaten at 12 or 1.

gold bricked house: A medium to large sized house, that is well kept yet vacant - having been bought by banks, house flippers or speculators for the sole sake of investment, like a gold brick, rather than being used to live in. One of the major reasons for the high prices of housing, and also the shortage of 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 housing.

Almond mom: A mom who is stuck in dieting culture. The mom who projects their fears of fat phobia onto their own kids. The mom who thinks she is doing good for their kids but is really causing trauma. The term originates from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”.

Zebra: An obscure illness, disease or condition affecting a comparatively small number of people, but with symptoms somewhat similar to one or more different and more common illnesses. It is named because these diseases/conditions are sometimes misdiagnosed by well meaning (but often inexperienced) doctors when something far more common is actually the cause. Medical students are told "remember, if you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras".

No Shot: When there is absolutely no chance that something happened/or is true. The phrase first gained popularity when it was heard echoing from a shipping container somewhere in Austin, Texas. It can even be traced back to an individual named Tyler "Dimmadomefuck" Niknam, from whom it spread like a virus. It is typical for people who have adapted this phrase to use it continuously to the point where it becomes frustrating. Saying "No shot" ad nauseam has been linked with heavy cocaine use and having sudden bald spots appear.

Velcro Kitty: A annoying neurotic housepet that craves affection like a addict craves drugs. If you start petting it, it will expect you to keep stroking it and rubbing it under the chin indefinitely. You push it off you 98 times, it crawls back on you 99 times, purring, rubbing, kneading, licking, drooling, and looking cute. A black bottomless hole of need. It sticks to you and can only be removed with force, a condition known as Cattic Cling. These episodes frequently occur when unsuspecting human target is playing a computer game or reading a book or trying to write. Putting on formal or expensive clothing that shows every single cat hair can also trigger velcro kitty behavior.

Aegyo: A korean word that derives from the Chinese characters "love (ae)" and "beautiful (gyo)." The closest English translation of aegyo would be "winsome," defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary as "generally pleasing and engaging often because of a childlike charm and innocence." Not surprisingly, aegyo is considered a feminine trait, generally attributed to women who can charm men and elders through a careful balance of sweetness, cuteness, poutiness, modesty, thoughtfulness, and submissiveness. A woman with aegyo knows to blush at dirty jokes rather than guffaw along with her mouth agape. A woman with aegyo knows to let out a modest and appealing squeal and grab tight her date's hand when watching a horror movie.

donorcycle: a motorcycle, when driven poorly

Green bubble struggle: When you are in a groupchat and/or texting someone with an android and the text bubble turns green unstead of the blue that it would be with just apple users (it limits you from doing things such as removing people from the group chat)

bbq chicken: noun - in basketball, a phrase used to describe a big man whose toughness is considerably less than his size would imply. a big man who does little to deter dunks or shots near the basket.

buckle bunny: Female groupie of rodeo cowboys