Urban Dictionary Hoodies

slow elevator: If you live in a tall building when you ride the elevator down to the first floor when your about to get out of it and a lot of people are trying to get in you press every button to piss everyone off

It pays the taxes: The replacement saying for "It pays the bills" in reference to writing off a job as merely a means of income, and in no way an enjoyable or lucrative way of making a living. Due to the increase in taxes "It pays the taxes" takes the place of "It pays the bills" while it takes a second job or additional income to actually pay the bills.

text-killer: Phrases and words such as "lol yeah" and "haha ok" that are guaranteed to kill any text conversation.

Famine Underwear: The garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, when you haven't done laundry in several weeks or months. Usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes (usually large and awkwardly located), stains, and typically are at least 5 - 10 years old. In some cases soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin, thongs, bathing suit bottoms, or 'granny panties' can be considered famine underwear, but do not necessarily meet the above criteria.

Drum Driving: While you are driving and listening to music, you bang on the steering wheel as if it were a drum set.

brain bucket: A motercycle helmet.

Soap grafting: The act of attaching an almost completely used piece of soap to a new, unused piece because it is now too small to be conveniently used but you also don't want to waste it.

bootyism: Bootyism is a sexy religion often confused with Budhism.

Bitchen: The term for the room in an urban apartment in which the bathroom is located in the kitchen.

iPad Nano: A smaller version of the new Apple iPad. Formerly known as iPod Touch.

Facebook bingo: (noun) On Facebook, this term refers to a posted photo that features five or more people, all of whom have Facebook profiles and are accurately tagged.

air guitar: An ancient art that originated after God wanted to rock out but had no electric guitar on hand. He realised how sweet a thing he had just created so he wanted to pass it down onto man when man had no axe to rock with. This talent was given to man, by God, through Jesus. Jesus showed the world the ineffable art of air guitar during his ressurection. Jesus was radiating with a bright white light because he was rocking so hard. The art of the air guitar was thus written down in the Bible and succesfully passed on to man. The practice of air guitar since it's inception has been shown throughout the history of the world. Jesus is discretely air guitaring in the famous painting The Last Supper in the Galleria Borghese, Rome. On and on has this holy tradition gone. It is kept alive by generations of rockers young and old. If you are listening to a really sweet guitar solo and you have no real guitar to emulate the action of rocking, pick up your hands, put them in position, and rock and roll all night. Remember...rock on.

zombie jesus: An exclamation of surpise or shock originating on Matt Groening's 'Futurama' animated TV show as a futuristic equivalent of the modern usage of 'Jesus Christ' as an exclamation. Usually preceded by the words 'sweet' or 'holy'.

WWJT: What Would Jesus Text

Stall Waiting: When you realize that you and your neighbor have finished using the bathroom at the same time so you delay exiting the stall a few seconds to avoid any uncomfortable eye contact or "excuse me"s while leaving the stall. Wait period is usually until the person reaches the buffer zone of the sink, where all normal social etiquettes are re-activated.

rick roll reflex: The time it takes to react to being rick rolled. I.e. how long it takes you to close your browser window after you've been rick rolled.

directionally challenged: 1. Someone who has difficulty determining right from left 2. Someone who often confuses directions, and prefers visual aids. 3. Someone who has great difficulty reading maps and/or driving while listening to directions. Can be spelt using a hyphen, if needed.

tree-book: A book printed on dead trees, i.e. paper, as opposed to an e-book, which only exists electronically. Compare with snail mail.

college morning: (noun) 1. Afternoon.

pen you in: A play on the phrase "pencil you in" but adds additional emphasis on the intention of the commitment.

understandment: The combination of understanding and agreement. Used when talking about informal commitment.

Masturbatone: The muscle tone one gets from masturbating frequently and rigorously.

manpanion: 1. a male companion; a term used to categorize a male friend with an abiguous characterization of sexual orientation. 2. a term used to describe a homosexual companion, while remaining free of commitment.

BFD: Big Fucking Deal

Stealth-call: When you have to call someone back but don't want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can't talk and leave a voice mail.

Myth-information: 1. To intentionally misinform using myths and other popular misconceptions. 2. Widely held and promoted but false information that has taken on a mythic quality. Misinformation.

stoplight party: A party where guests wear the the colors of the traffic signal to denote their relationship status: green means they're single, red means they're taken, and yellow means their relationship status is "complicated"

your other left: Sarcastic phrase; used with the directionally challenged to make them aware of their error.