Urban Dictionary Hoodies

poverty porn: Maury, Jerry Springer, and any show that purposefully uses the extremely poor and/or desperate uneducated people to exploit them for the purpose of entertainment.

College essays: This is the point in your life where you pour the largest amount of bullshit you can muster into a paper. And then send it to colleges.

niplash: NOUN whiplash of the nipple or nipples. Extreme soreness of the nipple or nipples from seatbelt or clothing malfunction.

antistalking: Methodically learning another person's routine in order to systematically avoid them.

charger-challenged: The inability to remember to plug a cell phone in to recharge occasionally, thus resulting in a battery-dead device.

anglo-klaxon: A loud English person, typically american.

concert boyfriend: A guy you meet at a concert or music festival that you dance (or whatever) with for one song or even the whole time you're there. Usually you pick a guy you've never seen and will probably never see again. Sometimes relationships or friendships can form. Sometimes this is more like a one night (concert) stand situation.

ain't about that life: When someone, usually trying to be gangster, is stressing how he does not like how something is run or what they didn't do in a situation.

Work birthday: The anniversary of the day you started working at a particular business. Not normally celebrated (unless it's a big one like 10 years, 20 years, etc) but sometimes acknowledged by the person, co-workers or the boss.

Phosphorus Bromide: Nerdspeak for Pabst Blue Ribbon. The chemical symbol for Phosphorus Bromide is PBr. PBR is the acronym for Pabst Blue Ribbon.

active cuddler: One who cuddles with intent. Generally to escalate to penetration, but always to grind one's genitals against another person; regardless of their state of consciousness

Concentration marks: The red marks you get on your elbows/forearms from resting your arms on your knees after having spent a long time on the toilet.

fapidextrous: The ability to masturbate with equal efficiency using either hand.

do it for the vine: A term used by people making Vines, to do ANYTHING it takes for entertainment or comedic purposes.

friend flash: Noun. An exposure of breast or genitalia by a good friend.

bp;dr: "behind paywall, didn't read" Etymology: An adaptation of tl;dr.

presstitute: A member of the media who will alter their story and reporting based on financial interests or other ties with usually partisan individuals or groups.

superficial: you care too much about how you look. about how other people look. about what you say and do and what other people say and do. it's ocd with eyeshadow.

pomosexuality: When an individual has no affinity for any sex, only love for pomegranates.

beat time: Similar to bed time, but takes place about 5 minutes prior. It's that special time of night when, you guessed it, masterbation occurs.

Car Sandwich: When a car gets stuck between two larger trucks/trailers/etc. on single (sometimes multi-laned) roads. Often happens in industrial areas, construction zones, and around dicks.

backspray: Noun. The microscopic particles of urine that bounce off of the urinal when urinating. Some or most of these microscopic droplets of urine end up on the urinator's pants, depending on the urinal.

congressing: Wasting time and energy. Being generally unproductive even though you have a lot of very important stuff to do.

bathroom stalemate: Much like in the game of chess, a bathroom stalemate is when two people are in a public restroom and neither wants to be the first to go, so both sit silently in their respective stalls as they wait for the other to leave, or for some loud noise to disguise their business.

instant tradition: Something that as soon as it is done becomes decided upon to repeat the next year and years to come. Does not necessarily have to had been done previous years to be defined an instant tradition.

going batman: Taking on the night life after taking care of business during the day.

golden selfie: A golden shower where the victim and the offender are one and the same.

craigslist bodyguard: Someone (usually a friend) who accompanies you to an in-person meeting arranged via Craigslist to provide support in case of anything going wrong (ex: the Craigslist person being dangerous, creepy, or a scammer). The Craigslist Bodyguard can also simply provide moral support or transportation.