Urban Dictionary Hoodies

White Girl Wasted: To be extremely drunk, high or a mixture of both. The term is derived from the extreme inebriation most commonly experienced by white females between age 17 to 27.

Horizontal Peeing: Laying down flat on the toilet to pee. Usually necessary due to a boner, because you’re not sure about your aim, or you’re bored with standard peeing strategies.

Effective Monday: When after a three-day weekend or vacation your first day back at work falls on a day other than Monday. The sensation of Monday is present, only worse.

bPhone: A BlackBerry Storm or similar BlackBerry phone that is trying to compete with an Apple iPhone. It doesn't quiet measure up.

Spectaphile: a person who is sexually attracted to people with glasses related: sapiosexual, geek freak, naughty librarian

kindergarten redshirt: When a parent (usually the father) will hold back their child from starting kindergarten for a year solely for the belief that an extra year of physical development will pay off athletically once the child is in high school ten years later.

mouth hugging: When you put a beer bottle in your mouth, and keep your mouth wrapped around it all day.

airplane bath: a quick method of cleaning by taking a wet wash cloth under "each wing" and "the tail"; meaning the armpits and the crotch region

Mastabbatical: A self imposed period free from masturbation. Often employed by single men as a strategy to improve productivity at work and in other life pursuits. Regularly used in conjunction with a set end date or target time frame. Should be used with caution as is considered by many to present considerable health hazards.

Cornbread Forehead: Someone with a crusty or cellulite forehead.

Condom Crinkle: The sound a wrapped condom makes in your pocket when you move. The "crinkle" sound can sometimes be embarrassing, since you might think people around you know you are "carrying".

Daylate savings time: When you set your clocks ahead ten minutes to trick yourself into being early for things.

furniture brother: When you and another man have both had sex on the same specific piece of furniture (couch, bed, dresser, pool table, etc.) If you and another woman have both had sex on the same specific piece of furniture but not with each other, then you are furniture sisters.

Cameragoer: A person who prefers to view a live musical performance through the screen of his or her camera/phone, thus blocking the view of the concertgoers behind the camera.

polar vortex: A weather system that results in record-breaking cold temperatures. Can also be used as euphemism for "really fucking cold" or "fucking freezing."

talibanter: Banter that relates to the activities of Al-Qaeda, or more significantly the late Osama Bin-Laden.

dental rush: The act of brushing your teeth multiple times right before a dentist appointment.

Volunteer's remorse: When you volunteer to help with something and immediately regret doing so.

commandoflauge: Is the art of freeballing it while wearing army style pants.

no meeting day: A very rare fictional concept used by some mystical factions to assign a day where the members of said factions are not to actually meet with one another in hopes of improving individual productivity.

got my contacts in: A phrase to tell people youre high without actually saying it.

Russian Morning: Waking up after a night of drinking nothing but Vodka.

Sigother: N. Love interest or committed companion/partner. Abbreviation for "Significant Other"

Sewage Fart: Blasting such a disgusting rotten shit smelling fart that it cases people to believe there is a sewer leak in the area.

Plutobrat: Ruling class of wealthy spoiled children that grew old but never grew up.

Praise Google Christ!: When you put your troubles at the feet of Almighty Google and find yourself a miracle.

christmas fatigues: 1. camouflage consisting of red, green, and white. 2. Wearing a hodgepodge of Christmas colors in an unfashionable manor.

facepsalm: The equivalent of a a facepalm (used out of disgust/defeat at having to entertain the musings of a moron), specifically used when dealing with a religious fundamentalist gomer, who reflexively recites hypocritical psychotic monkey garbage in the absence of any rational thought.