Teaching Crabs How To Read
Verb, 1. The action of teaching crabs how to read 2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate, Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes. Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies. The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356. Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.
Mr Tulppo Is next This hoodie is my favorite article of clothing
Would be South better to have the definition on it as well like we used to be able to customize tshirts, sweats or mugs especially at the higher prices…
Absolutely brilliant my Argentinian son wi be very pleased
My boy like the hooded attire.
Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!
Navy Quality Goods I bought this shirt to wear whilst i sail the seven seas with my sea cadet friends, i really like the design because i can walk around and everyone knows im a wannabe pirate. I also like the colour choice, i am able to use it as my stealth suit whilst we do our practice drills with spray painted nerf guns :) would buy again!
Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!
Shit
i said shart and wore it to a party
wrote shart and wore it to a party
SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.
why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw
Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good
TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!
Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.
Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.
Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public
Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!
bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your hoodies at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from side to side
C - Sleeve Length
Measure from center back collar, over shoulder, down to cuff
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27" | 20" | 33½" |
| M | 28" | 22" | 34½" |
| L | 29" | 24" | 35½" |
| XL | 30" | 26" | 36½" |
| 2XL | 31" | 28" | 37½" |
| 3XL | 32" | 30" | 38½" |
| Size | Length | Width | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 69 cm | 51 cm | 85 cm |
| M | 71 cm | 56 cm | 88 cm |
| L | 74 cm | 61 cm | 90 cm |
| XL | 76 cm | 66 cm | 93 cm |
| 2XL | 79 cm | 71 cm | 95 cm |
| 3XL | 81 cm | 76 cm | 98 cm |