Teabagging Hoodie

The scrotum, much like the tea bag, is a pouch that is used specifically as a means of convenient storage. The tea bag is to tea-leaves as the scrotum is to testicles. Now most people would come to the consensus that the scrotum is not the most attractive aspect of the male form, and that it should be hidden from view at all times because of its offensive appearance and function. Whenever the scrotum comes out of hiding, people tend to take notice. Imagine a scenario in which you and your close associates are out drinking all night and having a gay old time. Also imagine that you have a friend named Greg, who in light of his low tolerance for alcohol, proceeds to act like a total dilweed for most of the evening, and his night reaches its climax when he passes out. (Note: Greg has passed out with his shoes still on, making him fair game.) You and your friends decide that Greg should be punished for his capriciousness, and one friend-let’s say his name is Jarvis- suggests that “we should tea-bag him!” As has remained constant since the colonial days of tar and feathers, mob mentality prevails. Everyone praises Jarvis for his idea, which seems brilliant in the context of inebriation, and they suggest that he have the honor of performing the deed. Jarvis walks over to the incapacitated Greg, and proceeds to unzip his jeans. He delicately exposes his scrotum and slowly descends, hovering above Greg until he finally allows his junk to come to rest gently on Greg’s face. Applause.