Secret Internet Fatty Hoodie
Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of: - close-up head or face shots - extremely high or overhead camera angles - low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation. Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception. Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot. (In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said? Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child). To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise. To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
The Urban Dictionary Hoodie
Customer Reviews
i said shart and wore it to a party
wrote shart and wore it to a party
SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.
why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw
Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good
TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!
Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.
Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.
Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public
Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!
bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm
made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!
It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt
Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.
Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.
I kinda liked it.
Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.
Quality This is the highest quality product
Just amazing I started browsing on the urban dictionary for the best most exquisite word I could find. And lo and behold I found this! This word, or words fit so perfectly on the sweatshirt it to like it was made to be. The comfy and soft material truly hugs your body and makes you not want to get up Or do anything. 10/10
I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.