Secret Internet Fatty
Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of: - close-up head or face shots - extremely high or overhead camera angles - low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation. Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception. Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot. (In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said? Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child). To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise. To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
The Urban Dictionary Hoodie
Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.
Shit
SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.
TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!
Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!
bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm
made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!
It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt
Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.
I kinda liked it.
Would be South better to have the definition on it as well like we used to be able to customize tshirts, sweats or mugs especially at the higher prices…
Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.
wrote shart and wore it to a party
i said shart and wore it to a party
Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public
I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.
Absolutely brilliant my Argentinian son wi be very pleased
My boy like the hooded attire.
Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!
Navy Quality Goods I bought this shirt to wear whilst i sail the seven seas with my sea cadet friends, i really like the design because i can walk around and everyone knows im a wannabe pirate. I also like the colour choice, i am able to use it as my stealth suit whilst we do our practice drills with spray painted nerf guns :) would buy again!
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your hoodies at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from side to side
C - Sleeve Length
Measure from center back collar, over shoulder, down to cuff
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27" | 20" | 33½" |
| M | 28" | 22" | 34½" |
| L | 29" | 24" | 35½" |
| XL | 30" | 26" | 36½" |
| 2XL | 31" | 28" | 37½" |
| 3XL | 32" | 30" | 38½" |
| Size | Length | Width | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 69 cm | 51 cm | 85 cm |
| M | 71 cm | 56 cm | 88 cm |
| L | 74 cm | 61 cm | 90 cm |
| XL | 76 cm | 66 cm | 93 cm |
| 2XL | 79 cm | 71 cm | 95 cm |
| 3XL | 81 cm | 76 cm | 98 cm |