Portola Valley hoodie

Portola Valley is a smelly, disgusting, dirty little suburb that wishes it was Atherton. Unlike Atherton, however, people in Portola Valley are in debt. Meaning they can't actually afford a house which was probably not even worth 2 million when they bought it (ew). To compound their financial troubles, people from Portola Valley buy their children newer cars than they themselves drive. This is because adults from Portola Valley rarely see people from outside their nasty little barrio, so they do not have to worry about the opinions of other people in Portola Valley. However, their children, who must go to private schools elsewhere because of the dirty public school system, will encounter actual rich people and need to try to show off. It is NOT a low-key Atherton, in fact if anything it is an artificially bloated attempt at a copy built with shitty materials on worthless land. In fact, many people in Atherton are content with owning a car that is up to 10 years old, until it becomes necessary to buy a new one, because everyone knows theyre bosses and therefore they don't need to trouble themselves with the opinions of plebians who live on parched, weed covered hills.

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Mug Tee Beanie
Size guide
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The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

  • Soft midweight fleece with a brushed interior
  • Comfortable, classic unisex fit
  • Double-lined drawstring hood
  • Front pouch pocket
  • Gildan Heavy Blend
  • Every order personally reviewed
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

23
5
0
0
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Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!

Lol Sep 14

Shit

Kakkakajs Aug 27

i said shart and wore it to a party

i dont e. Jul 4

wrote shart and wore it to a party

tyler j. Jul 4

SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.

Kai C. Jul 1

why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw

Why May 21

Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good

Gillian Apr 23

TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!

smiggen s. Mar 10

Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.

Harold Mar 5

Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.

Marcus D M. Mar 4
✓ Verified Purchase

Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public

Katrina S. Mar 3

Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!

Maddi M. Feb 27

bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm

Dogsta G. Feb 26

made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!

kai h. Feb 16

It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt

Craig C. Feb 11
✓ Verified Purchase

Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.

Art N. Feb 2
✓ Verified Purchase

Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.

Christen M. Jan 20
✓ Verified Purchase

I kinda liked it.

Lil M. Jan 3

Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.

Niwomugisha Chevonne Dec 16

Quality This is the highest quality product

Bundai Dec 4
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