porcelain porridge hoodie
You have just finished the leftover Chinese take out that you found sticky in the fridge a week later. Approximately 30 min. after guzzling down some stale rice and slimy nuggets of some sort of chicken/cat you start to feel your poor dining decision crawling through your lower bowels ready to be birthed. You awkwardly waddle off the couch with your hand grasped both cheeks together as you desperately search for an open bathroom that doesn't contain your roommate in the middle of a pube shaving frenzy. when you reach the bathroom on the second floor you pull down your pants, turn, and roost all at the same time with the swiftness of a naked Olympic athlete. When you finish laying your egg, out of curiosity, you hoist your balls out of the way and peer down into the toilet. The shit that you have just made has the color and consistency of the Quaker instant in your cupboard. As you sit there amused with your hand on your junk admiring your work you remember that you are single and now in no condition to mingle. You decide to rub one off and add a teaspoon of sugar syrup to the top of your porridge mound. As you sit in post wank depression you get the idea that this could be frozen and sold as modern art and is too good a sight not to share with someone. You whip out your phone and send a snap crap to most of your snapchat contacts. mission complete you whip and struggle your pants up as you flush and send Bernie (yes you've named it) out to sea.
Checking out…
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porcelain porridge sweatshirt
Size M
The Urban Dictionary Hoodie
- Soft midweight fleece with a brushed interior
- Comfortable, classic unisex fit
- Double-lined drawstring hood
- Front pouch pocket
- Gildan Heavy Blend
- Returns & defect-free guarantee
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Customer Reviews
Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!
Navy Quality Goods I bought this shirt to wear whilst i sail the seven seas with my sea cadet friends, i really like the design because i can walk around and everyone knows im a wannabe pirate. I also like the colour choice, i am able to use it as my stealth suit whilst we do our practice drills with spray painted nerf guns :) would buy again!
Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!
Shit
i said shart and wore it to a party
wrote shart and wore it to a party
SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.
why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw
Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good
TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!
Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.
Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.
Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public
Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!
bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm
made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!
It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt
Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.
Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.
I kinda liked it.