Northern Panhandle Hoodie

Specifically, the counties of Hancock, Brooke, Ohio, Marshall, and Wetzel in northern West Virginia. Generally, the aformentioned counties in West Virginia but also including the counties of Belmont, Jefferson, and Columbiana in Ohio; and, the counties of Beaver, Washington, and Allegheny in Pennsylvania. The region is characterised by bad roads strewn with deer carcasses, run-down steel mills, smog, foul-smelling air, and "cafes" (particularly in West Virginia). There is also considerable blight due to malaise and apathy on the part of the middle-aged and older people. There was once a time when one could drop out of high school in this area and get a high-paying job at one of the local steel mills. This, coupled with the belief that the American steel industry will rebound, has caused parents to neglect their children's education. The evidence of this can be seen in towns such as Newell, West Virginia and East Liverpool, Ohio. Large numbers of teenaged girls can be seen carting around at least one illegitimate child before they finish high school, and two or more by the time they are 21; at least one of the children will be of mixed race. The young men are generally lazy, and only a few actually hold down full-time jobs. MOST young people who leave the area to go to university do not come back. The people are characterised by their love of Nascar, VERY cheap beer, mullets, lack of education, and missing teeth. Despite being yankees, they proudly display the Confederate battle flag. Although there are a fair amount of African Americans in nearly all the towns in this region, the word "colored" is still considered an acceptable term even among the few educated whites. Spots worth checking out: For gambling, one can go to Weirton and check out their many "cafes;" even the bloody donut shop has slot machines. One can also travel twenty minutes north and go to Mountaineer Racetrack and Gaming Resort. For people watching, I recommend going to Newell and Chester in West Virginia and East Liverpool in Ohio. I also highly recommend going to Follansbee, West Virginia to check out the Wheeling/Pittsburgh Steel cinter plant. This facility has a very prominent stack that spews flame and VERY acrid smoke into the air. Other hot spots: Wheeling, West Virginia; and Cabela's. Popular vacation destinations for the people of the region: Due to lack of desire for travel, or knowledge of the world outside of the Northern Panhandle, most people prefer to stay home or go to Pittsburgh for vacation. For the few brave enough to venture out of the area the most popular spots are the Outer Banks, Myrtle Beach, or the Jersey Shore. Other anomalies peculiar to this region: An inordinate number of men called "Cecil," the use of the term "know'd" in place of the WORD "knew," and bad grammar in general (ex. "I don't got no tickets for the Newell bridge" as opposed to "I don't have any tickets for the Newell bridge."). Other oddities include many men with one or two lazy or crossed eyes.