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Manitoba Monkey Wrench

Of course Manitoba is essentially the French Dakota. And everyone knows that the Dakotas are home to some of the most sexually depraved humans this side of Bixby. Armed with that as background information, the Manitoba Monkey Wrench is the utensil that is found in every man’s tackle box, toolbox and utility belt. It is the very tool that can keep you alive on those subarctic nights in the local pub. Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”. Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride. The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use. Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.

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The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

Soft and cozy blend
Printed on-demand just for you
Drawstring hood
Front pouch pocket
Ribbed cuffs and waistband
Design on front, blank back
Every order personally reviewed
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Absolutely brilliant my Argentinian son wi be very pleased

Big S.Oct 20

My boy like the hooded attire.

Ngalasa i.Oct 18

Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!

Alex SadlerSep 24

Navy Quality Goods I bought this shirt to wear whilst i sail the seven seas with my sea cadet friends, i really like the design because i can walk around and everyone knows im a wannabe pirate. I also like the colour choice, i am able to use it as my stealth suit whilst we do our practice drills with spray painted nerf guns :) would buy again!

Alex SadlerSep 24

Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!

LolSep 14

Shit

KakkakajsAug 27

i said shart and wore it to a party

i dont e.Jul 4

wrote shart and wore it to a party

tyler j.Jul 4

SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.

Kai C.Jul 1

why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw

WhyMay 21

Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good

GillianApr 23

TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!

smiggen s.Mar 10

Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.

HaroldMar 5

Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.

Marcus D M.Mar 4
✓ Verified Purchase

Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public

Katrina S.Mar 3

Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!

Maddi M.Feb 27

bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm

Dogsta G.Feb 26

made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!

kai h.Feb 16

It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt

Craig C.Feb 11
✓ Verified Purchase

Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.

Art N.Feb 2
✓ Verified Purchase
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Size Guide

Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your hoodies at home and compare!

Hoodie measurements

A - Length

Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem

B - Width

Measure across the chest from side to side

C - Sleeve Length

Measure from center back collar, over shoulder, down to cuff

Size Chart

SizeLengthWidthSleeve
S27"20"33½"
M28"22"34½"
L29"24"35½"
XL30"26"36½"
2XL31"28"37½"
3XL32"30"38½"
SizeLengthWidthSleeve
S69 cm51 cm85 cm
M71 cm56 cm88 cm
L74 cm61 cm90 cm
XL76 cm66 cm93 cm
2XL79 cm71 cm95 cm
3XL81 cm76 cm98 cm

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