Colton's Mom's Vagina hoodie

A joke originally made about an imaginary person named Colton, It refers to his mom as the 66th most dangerous thing in the world. Colton's Mom's Vagina has serrated teeth around the outer edge, and has come to be fondly known as a, "Penis-Flysnatch". This is due to it's capabilities of rapidly snapping shut on anything which touces the vaginal walls more than once. A dexterous person always has enough time to get in and pull out, however. This is actually a good workout, and many people have resorted to this to lose calories. There is an on-off switch within the Vagina, and only one or two people have been recorded to actually be able to consistantly locate it. This causes her vagina to wait another 30 minutes before closing, and it constricts itself to an appropriate tightness. On that note, although you would expect Colton's mom's vagina to be extremely lose due to all the action it gets, it is able to loosen or slacken itself at will, enabling it to keep a person going longer, increasing the risk of "de-manning him". Colton's mom is known to prostitute herself at a very cheap price, for this is an easy way for it to get food. The last recorded rate was 15 cents.

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The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

  • Soft midweight fleece with a brushed interior
  • Comfortable, classic unisex fit
  • Double-lined drawstring hood
  • Front pouch pocket
  • Gildan Heavy Blend
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

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Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!

Alex Sadler Sep 24

Navy Quality Goods I bought this shirt to wear whilst i sail the seven seas with my sea cadet friends, i really like the design because i can walk around and everyone knows im a wannabe pirate. I also like the colour choice, i am able to use it as my stealth suit whilst we do our practice drills with spray painted nerf guns :) would buy again!

Alex Sadler Sep 24

Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!

Lol Sep 14

Shit

Kakkakajs Aug 27

i said shart and wore it to a party

i dont e. Jul 4

wrote shart and wore it to a party

tyler j. Jul 4

SUPER SIGMA. I LOVE IT.

Kai C. Jul 1

why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw

Why May 21

Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good

Gillian Apr 23

TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!

smiggen s. Mar 10

Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.

Harold Mar 5

Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.

Marcus D M. Mar 4
✓ Verified Purchase

Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public

Katrina S. Mar 3

Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!

Maddi M. Feb 27

bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm

Dogsta G. Feb 26

made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!

kai h. Feb 16

It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt

Craig C. Feb 11
✓ Verified Purchase

Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.

Art N. Feb 2
✓ Verified Purchase

Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.

Christen M. Jan 20
✓ Verified Purchase

I kinda liked it.

Lil M. Jan 3
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